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Crime rate has been raising increadebly during many years and some people want govarenments to make prison sentence longer and harder what do you think discuss both views and give your opinion

Crime rate has been raising increadebly during many years and some people want govarenments to make prison sentence longer and harder what do you think discuss both views and give your opinion aEQbY
The amount of crime rate is increasing rapidly in many developing countries which stands out a crucial challenge for the govarenments and local inhabitants in those areas. There have been many debuts about how to handle this situation and related problems to it. While others uphold the demand stronger prison sentence, in my view a various kinds of solutions are required to cope with the increasing crime rate. On the contrast stronger prison terms for criminals is resulting obstruction in some countries, it has been mentioned that the real reason for exploding number of crime is that criminals did not care about being charged prison again. Only for a few years is not severe vocation out of a clamorous city, while residing in a comfortable hotels being served two or three times with delicious meals in each day. In addition to this harder and longer imprisonment will be an effective method to prevent them from breaking the rules again. For instance due to longer prison sentence, the amount of crime in many are has been dropping dramatically in the past two decades. On the other hand some people argue that being committed in a penitentiary for a long time is not a good idea at all. It may lead to become overcrowded of prisons with treacherous criminals in many areas especially small ones. Although others think that there many other solutions such as utilizing rehabilitation centres for dangerous offenders, drug users as well, tendering occupation opportunities for former offenders after they realized. Moreover after criminals' jail sentence is ended up they can easily find their jobs because of the skills they learn when they were in prison. Teaching the public is also substantial not to differentiate against offenders in society. To conclude having been given longer jail sentence can lead to reduce the crime rate. Due to the fact that criminals can act as a good one. However. many people suggest that other methods are also useful to solve this problem, including retraining and rehabilitation of ex-offenders creating a occupation for them and helping criminals to go back into society again would be the best way.
The amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate is increasing
rapidly
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
which stands out a crucial challenge for the
Possible spelling mistake found.
govarenments
and local inhabitants in those areas. There have been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
debuts about how to handle this situation and related problems to it. While others uphold the demand stronger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sentence
, in my view a various
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "kind"?
kinds
of solutions
are required
to cope with the increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate. On the contrast stronger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
terms for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
is resulting obstruction in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries, it has
been mentioned
that the real reason for exploding number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
did not care about
being charged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
again.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
for a few years is not severe vocation out of a clamorous city, while residing in a comfortable hotels
being served
two or three times with delicious meals in each day.
In addition
to this harder and longer imprisonment will be an effective method to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
them from breaking the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
again.
For instance
due to longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sentence
, the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
are has been dropping
dramatically
in the past two decades. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that
being committed
in a penitentiary for a long time is not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
at all. It may lead to become overcrowded of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisons
with treacherous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
areas
especially
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
ones. Although others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that there
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
solutions such as utilizing rehabilitation
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
offenders, drug users
as well
, tendering occupation opportunities for former offenders after they realized.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
after criminals' jail
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sentence
is ended
up they can
easily
find their jobs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
they learn when they were in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
. Teaching the public is
also
substantial not to differentiate against offenders in society.
To conclude
having been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
longer jail
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sentence
can lead to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate. Due to the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
can act as a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
one.
However
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
suggest that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
methods are
also
useful to solve this problem, including retraining and rehabilitation of ex-offenders creating
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
occupation for them and helping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
to go back into society again would be the best way.
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IELTS essay Crime rate has been raising increadebly during many years and some people want govarenments to make prison sentence longer and harder what do you think discuss both views and give your opinion

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
356 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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