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Crime rate amongst teenagers is increasing significantly in developed countries. Identify the problems and the solutions to overcome the same.

Crime rate amongst teenagers is increasing significantly in developed countries. Identify the problems and the solutions to overcome the same. kxxqR
Nowadays, in the developed countries it is observed that teenagers are getting engaged in criminal activities, which has become a concern in the society. This could be because of lack of parents’ supervision and the negative influence of the friends that, if not controlled at the right time can lead to adverse impact not only on the individual but the society as a whole. This essay highlights the most common reasons for increase in the crime rate amongst youth as well as suggest measures to curtail the situation. To begin with, youngsters are getting more attracted towards negative things, because parents do not monitor their kids and they are not getting proper guidance. Since they are busy with their hectic schedule, they ignore their responsibility towards their children. This results in loneliness and there is a possibility of getting attracted to bad people in the society. Eventually, the youngsters then get into crimes like theft, burglary and so on which leads into drug abuse and such other addictions. They then are trapped in this vicious circle and have no way out. Additionally, watching webseries, television and media can further encourage/instigate them to get into this kind of negative behaviour. However, this social problem can be curbed by counseling these minors and providing them with a helping hand to identify their objective of life. Parents and teachers both play a vital role in imparting better education, moral values and ethics that helps them to have a bright future and successful career. Futhermore, strict law and order should be maintained to ensure such illegal activities are prohibited. To conclude, parents should spend enough time and have frequent family gather which can suppress the negative behavior. Also teachers and social communities can help to encourage the youth population to be more focused on their career goal.
Nowadays, in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
it
is observed
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
are getting engaged in criminal activities, which has become a concern in the society. This could be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents’
supervision and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
influence of the friends that, if not controlled at the right time can lead to adverse impact not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on the individual
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the society as a whole. This essay highlights the most common reasons for increase in the crime rate amongst youth
as well
as suggest measures to curtail the situation.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, youngsters are getting more attracted towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
things,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
do not monitor their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
kids and
they are not getting proper guidance. Since they are busy with their hectic schedule, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
their responsibility towards their children. This results in loneliness and there is a possibility of getting attracted to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the society.
Eventually
, the youngsters then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into crimes like theft, burglary and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on which leads into drug abuse and such other addictions. They then
are trapped
in this vicious circle and have no way out.
Additionally
, watching
Possible spelling mistake found.
webseries
, television and media can
further
encourage/instigate them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
.

However
, this social problem can
be curbed
by counseling these minors and providing them with a helping hand to identify their objective of life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
and teachers both play a vital role in imparting better education, moral values and ethics that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to have a bright future and successful career.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Futhermore
, strict law and order should
be maintained
to ensure such illegal activities
are prohibited
.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time and have frequent family gather which can suppress the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
behavior.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
teachers and social communities can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to encourage the youth population to be more focused on their career goal.
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IELTS essay Crime rate amongst teenagers is increasing significantly in developed countries. Identify the problems and the solutions to overcome the same.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
303 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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