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Crime increasing in children day by day.

Crime increasing in children day by day. gxa0D
According to the latest survey, the rapid growth is found involvement of teenagers in violent offense and a few Psychologists believe one of the fundamentals reason of this is due to the lack of social and emotional education that teens required from the tutors and parents. I firmly agree with the statement, as in the present the majority of the teachers and parents urge children to focus only on-course subjects and because of that youngsters are failed to tackle rest the circumstance of the life socially and emotionally and as a result, it leads them towards violent activities. Firstly, the youngsters are too pressurized from the parents and teachers as well to achieve high marks in their academic career. For instance, all of the high-level universities required more percentage to provide admission and because of the competition teens are forced to study hard by both parents and teachers as well, to get a flexible proportion in the school subjects to obtain admission in a good university and due to that tutors and parents only are put entire attention on their school marks and by doing  that teenagers miss learning other social and emotional skills from them. Thus, In  the life teen face various other challenges and as they were never taught from their parents nor tutors to tackle with them consequently, youngsters intend to get rid of those challenges by conflict and skirmishes people around them. Secondly, due to age factors teens have various unnecessary desires. For example, the majority of the youngsters are more inclined towards branded things such as, luxury vehicles and latest models of smartphones which they demand from their parents and for numerous reasons, parents sometimes are not eligible to accomplish their desires which at the end cause teens to do any criminal acts such as robbery or street crime to own everything they wish to have, therefore, prior teens desire for such things parents and teachers must teach the priorities of the social and emotional life so, they can focus on the significant goals of their lives. In conclusion, children do not get primary career counseling from their parents nor  tutors and I believe that is the basic reason behind the magnification of teenagers involved in the offense violent.
According to the latest survey, the rapid growth
is found
involvement of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
in violent offense and a few Psychologists believe one of the fundamentals reason of this is due to the lack of social and emotional education that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teens
required from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tutors
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. I
firmly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement, as in the present the majority of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
urge children to focus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on-course subjects and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of that youngsters
are failed
to tackle rest the circumstance of the life
socially
and
emotionally
and
as a result
, it leads them towards violent activities.

Firstly
, the youngsters are too pressurized from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
as well
to achieve high marks in their academic career.
For instance
,
Consider using "all the".
all of the
high-level universities required more percentage to provide admission and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the competition
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teens
are forced
to study
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
by both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
as well
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a flexible proportion in the school subjects to obtain admission in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
university and due to that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tutors
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
are put
entire attention on their school marks and by doing
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
miss learning other social and emotional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
from them.
Thus
, In
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
the life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teen
face various other challenges and as they were never taught from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
nor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tutors
to tackle with them
consequently
, youngsters intend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
rid of those challenges by conflict and skirmishes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
around them.
Secondly
, due to age factors
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teens
have various unnecessary desires.
For example
, the majority of the youngsters are more inclined towards branded things such as, luxury vehicles and latest models of smartphones which they demand from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and for numerous reasons,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
are not eligible to accomplish their desires which at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
cause
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teens
to do any criminal acts such as robbery or street crime to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
everything they wish to have,
therefore
, prior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teens
desire for such things
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
teach the priorities of the social and emotional life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, they can focus on the significant goals of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

In conclusion
, children do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
primary career counseling from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
nor
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tutors
and I believe
that is
the basic reason behind the magnification of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
involved in the offense violent.
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IELTS essay Crime increasing in children day by day.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
372 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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