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Do you think advertisements’ portrayal of beauty is correct? Why?

Do you think advertisements’ portrayal of beauty is correct? Why? drOQX
From my perspective, beauty magazines are having bad effects on people. One study found that one in four people is depressed about their body. A co_founder the Campaign for Body Confidence said that advertisements’ portrayal of beauty caused this depressionthese depression by creating beauty standards. putting pressure on how we should look. Another bad effect is creating money-consuming issues. Regardless of the models' real appearance, they will still be photoshopped for so-calledso called perfection, these images create misconceptions and inspire young people about biological impossible ideals. People are falsely portrayed in advertisements, causing a drastic decline in self-esteem. Making people, especially women feel guilt and shame when comparing themselves to those models. Negative effects of fashion and beauty advertisementsadvertisement provide unrealistic expectations and unnecessary pressure on them. A recent survey showed that half of the young teenagers think the pressure to look good is the worst part. As people chase their ideal appearance image, money is spent so that they can live up to their expectations. Cosmetics and plastic surgeries are becoming more expensive to gain profits from people that are interested in the beauty industry, beauty trends. Sadly, the number of those people isare increasing dramatically. More idols or models are declared as beauty standards, more people will spend to meet those requirements. It is not good for people's health and costs them lots of money to have a better look too, so it is a lose-lose gamble. A researcher showed the results of the survey about spending on cosmetics and diet menus. Almost a third of women said they would sacrifice a year of salaries by spending on beauty products.
From my perspective,
beauty
magazines are having
bad
effects on
people
. One study found that one in four
people
is
depressed about their body. A
co_founder
the Campaign for Body Confidence said that advertisements’ portrayal of
beauty
caused this
depressionthese
depression by creating
beauty
standards.
putting
pressure on how we should look. Another
bad
effect is creating money-consuming issues.

Regardless of the models' real appearance, they will
still
be photoshopped
for
so-calledso
called perfection, these images create misconceptions and inspire young
people
about biological impossible ideals.
People
are
falsely
portrayed in advertisements, causing a drastic decline in self-esteem. Making
people
,
especially
women feel guilt and shame when comparing themselves to those models.
Negative
effects of fashion and
beauty
advertisementsadvertisement
provide unrealistic expectations and unnecessary pressure on them. A recent survey
showed
that half of the young
teenagers
think
the pressure to look
good
is the worst part.

As
people
chase their ideal appearance image, money
is spent
so
that they can
live
up to their expectations. Cosmetics and plastic surgeries are becoming more expensive to gain profits from
people
that
are interested
in the
beauty
industry,
beauty
trends.
Sadly
, the number of those
people
isare
increasing
dramatically
. More idols or models
are declared
as
beauty
standards, more
people
will spend to
meet
those requirements. It is not
good
for
people
's health and costs them lots of money to have a better look too,
so
it is a lose-lose gamble. A researcher
showed
the results of the survey about spending on cosmetics and diet menus. Almost a third of women said they would sacrifice a year of salaries by spending on
beauty
products.
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IELTS essay Do you think advertisements’ portrayal of beauty is correct? Why?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
272 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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