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crime increase causes and solutions

crime increase causes and solutions 7Wkk3
Due to the increasing unemployment cases and massive free time that teenagers have, many countries witness dramatically raise of crime rates. Personally, I think the best way to tackle this dilemma is to create new opportunities for young people, and involve young people with un-systematic activities. Firstly, In spite of the fact that the reason of increasing offences in community is manifold, I bet that unemployment is a vital causative for it. When people don't have reasonable income to live in dignity, they would try to earn it in illegitimate approaches; therefore, they might commit a crime to ensure better life for their families. Moreover, I reckon that adult has to be involved with productive missions otherwise they would veer from the right path. For example, many offenders start their crime because they want to try something new or exciting, but then they become passionate about this crime and can't get rid of it. Secondly, since the best way to tackle any dilemma is to tackle its reasons, I believe that creating new opportunities for adults would diminish this problem dramatically. When the people have enough money, this creates a satisfaction feeling. Thus, they would start thinking about something beneficial socially and economically. Moreover, due to the fact that wealth generates satisfaction, crime would decline because needy people have enough income, and don't have feeling of oppression. Finally, filling teenagers' free time is indispensible once governments want to vanish crime. In conclusion, societies face increasingly crime rate because of jobless cases and un-involved members. Personally, I think investing youth energy throughout work or un-systematic activates would reduce crime percentage.
Due to the increasing unemployment cases and massive free time that
teenagers
have,
many
countries witness
dramatically
raise of
crime
rates.
Personally
, I
think
the best way to tackle this dilemma is to create new opportunities for young
people
, and involve young
people
with
un-systematic
activities.

Firstly
,
In spite of
the fact that the reason of increasing
offences
in community is manifold, I bet that unemployment is a vital causative for it. When
people
don't have reasonable income to
live
in dignity, they would try to earn it in illegitimate approaches;
therefore
, they might commit a
crime
to ensure better life for their families.
Moreover
, I reckon that adult
has to
be involved
with productive missions
otherwise
they would veer from the right path.
For example
,
many
offenders
start
their
crime
because
they want to try something new or exciting,
but
then they become passionate about this
crime
and can't
get
rid of it.

Secondly
, since the best way to tackle any dilemma is to tackle its reasons, I believe that creating new opportunities for adults would diminish this problem
dramatically
. When the
people
have
enough
money, this creates a satisfaction feeling.
Thus
, they would
start
thinking about something beneficial
socially
and
economically
.
Moreover
, due to the fact that wealth generates satisfaction,
crime
would decline
because
needy
people
have
enough
income, and don't have feeling of oppression.
Finally
, filling
teenagers
' free time is
indispensible
once
governments
want to vanish crime.

In conclusion
, societies face
increasingly
crime
rate
because
of jobless cases and
un-involved
members.
Personally
, I
think
investing youth energy throughout work or
un-systematic
activates would
reduce
crime
percentage.
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IELTS essay crime increase causes and solutions

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
269 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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