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These days people are using the internet for shopping, work and communicate with others without the need for face to face meetings. Do the advantges of this outweigh the disadvantages

These days people are using the internet for shopping, work and communicate with others without the need for face to face meetings. Do the advantges of this outweigh the disadvantages 55YYp
Gone are those days when people were required to meet personally for any kind of task. However, presently internet has removed this barrier and make it convenient for individuals to do their job, buying activities and talk with others. According to me, I hold a natural opinion for this notion. There are many reasons which will be discussed in further paragraphs. To begin with, one of the prime reasons why nowadays most people are preferring the internet for their many activities is because as per their opinion it is a savvier option. It will save time, cost, and the environment. These people are believing that by using the internet they will save their traveling time, in addition to that they will not require any vehicles to reach a particular place so it will save their cost of fuel or ticket. And lastly, if people are not using more vehicles then the level of pollution will automatically reduce. Secondly, while using the internet there are no geographical hindrances. It means the internet has made it possible to overcome the geographical barriers like earlier if one businessman wants to do business with another businessman who is residing in another city or country they have to meet personally but nowadays so many options are available on the internet for doing the business with outsiders. Additionally, it has made it possible to buy anything from anywhere in the world and make the world one globe because people can also meet and talk with each other through Whatsapp, Facebook, Skype, Zoom. On the other hand, there are also some drawbacks to the internet. To somehow the internet can make social skills poor. If individuals are going either shopping or jobs or meetings, they must communicate with each other. Due to the fact that humans are part of society and they have to communicate. If they are not doing it, they will lead to introverted personalities and losing their social skill of communication. Secondly, another drawback of the internet is poor reliability. Currently, there are so many cases of cheating and fraudulent activities are coming out which may lead to less reliability on online transactions. This may cause a fault in the security tools of which hackers can take advantage and enter into the transaction and cheat the people. As result, such a situation can demotivate people from using the internet. In conclusion, there is the benefit of saving time, cost, and removal of the geographical barrier which may motivate humans to the usage of the internet. On the flip side less reliability and adverse effect on social skill demotivate its usage.
Gone
Consider using third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "is".
are
those days when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were required
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
personally
for any kind of task.
However
,
presently
internet has removed this barrier and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it convenient for individuals to do their job, buying activities and talk with others.
This phrase can sound awkward in English. Consider using "in my opinion" or "I think".
According to me
, I hold a natural opinion for this notion. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons which will
be discussed
in
further
paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, one of the prime reasons why nowadays most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
The verb 'preferring' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
are preferring
the internet for their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
activities is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
as per their opinion it is a savvier option. It will save time, cost, and the environment. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
The verb 'believing' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
are believing
that by using the internet they will save their traveling time,
in addition
to that they will not require any vehicles to reach a particular place
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it will save their cost of fuel or ticket. And
lastly
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not using
Did you mean "more vehicles than"?
more vehicles then
the level of pollution will
automatically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
.
Secondly
, while using the internet there are no geographical hindrances. It means the internet has made it possible to overcome the geographical barriers like earlier if one businessman wants to do business with another businessman who is residing in another city or country they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
personally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
nowadays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
options are available on the internet for doing the business with outsiders.
Additionally
, it has made it possible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
anything from anywhere in the world and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the world one globe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
and talk with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
through
Possible spelling mistake found.
Whatsapp
, Facebook, Skype, Zoom.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, there are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks to the internet. To somehow the internet can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
poor. If individuals are going either shopping or jobs or meetings, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
communicate with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
. Due to the fact that humans are part of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
society and
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
communicate. If they are not doing it, they will lead to introverted personalities and losing their social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
of communication.
Secondly
, another drawback of the internet is poor reliability.
Currently
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases of cheating and fraudulent activities are coming out which may lead to less reliability on online transactions. This may cause a fault in the security tools of which hackers can take advantage and enter into the transaction and cheat the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. As result, such a situation can demotivate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from using the internet.

In conclusion
, there is the benefit of saving time, cost, and removal of the geographical barrier which may motivate humans to the usage of the internet. On the flip side less reliability and adverse effect on social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
demotivate its usage.
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IELTS essay These days people are using the internet for shopping, work and communicate with others without the need for face to face meetings. Do the advantges of this outweigh the disadvantages

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
436 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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