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Some people work for the organization all their working life .other think that it is better to work for different organization.Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people work for the organization all their working life. other think that it is better to work for different organization. ppW3
A few individual advocate that it is effective to work for various organization rather than working in the same organization for whole life. This essay will analyze both the views, and I believe that working for different organization helps to excel their skill. Firstly, working in the different organization enables individual to grow career wise due to the fact that they will gain enormous amount of knowledge through different working environment. Moreover, people get chance to meet and work with different people and exchange knowledge with them which helps them to broaden their horizon. Many individual these days feel monotonous working in same organization for longer time because they want to experience new challenges. Also, working in different environment let people to learn different managerial and entrepreneurship skills, later on they can use this expertise to establish their own organization, which can generate employment opprotunities for several people. For instance, whatsapp founder woked in various tech company using those expertise which he has gained from different company, later developed whatsapp and provided employment opportunites for many people. On the other hand, many section of society opine that working is same company makes them better this is because doing same work for many years makes them more skilled in particular field, and they are more familiar with staffs, which will be easy for them to work. Furthermore, there is a chance of promotion because several organization has their own set of rules if a person work for many years they can be promoted. Consequently they may be more financial secure and there is a provision of penson, which they get their whole life after retiring form job. For instance, many government job in Nepal has pension system, so many youth are attracted towards government jobs. In conclusion, we cannot deny the fact that people working in different organization can gain wide experience and can cope with any job related challenges. And benefits of working for same company for longer period of time can make them more financially secure.
A few individual advocate that it is effective to
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work
for various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organization
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organization
for whole life. This essay will analyze both the views, and I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organization
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to excel their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
.

Firstly
,
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working
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organization
enables individual to grow career wise due to the fact that they will gain enormous amount of knowledge through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
environment.
Moreover
,
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and exchange knowledge with them which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to broaden their horizon.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
individual these days feel monotonous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organization
for longer time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they want to experience new challenges.
Also
,
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working
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
environment
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
managerial and entrepreneurship
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, later on they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this expertise to establish their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organization
, which can generate employment
Possible spelling mistake found.
opprotunities
for several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For instance
,
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whatsapp
founder
Possible spelling mistake found.
woked
in various tech
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company
using
Did you mean "this expertise" or "those expertises"?
those expertise
which he has gained from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
, later developed
Possible spelling mistake found.
whatsapp
and provided employment
Possible spelling mistake found.
opportunites
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

On the other hand
,
Possible agreement error. The noun section seems to be countable; consider using: "many sections".
many section
of society opine that
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working
is same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them better this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
doing same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them more skilled
in particular
field, and they are more familiar with staffs, which will be easy for them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
Furthermore
, there is a chance of promotion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organization
has their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
set of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
if a person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years they can
be promoted
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Consequently
they may be more financial secure and there is a provision of
Possible spelling mistake found.
penson
, which they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their whole life after retiring form job.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
job in Nepal has pension system,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
Possible agreement error. The noun youth seems to be countable; consider using: "many youths".
many youth
are attracted
towards
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
jobs.

In conclusion
, we cannot deny the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organization
can gain wide experience and can cope with any job related challenges. And benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
for same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
for longer period of time can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them more
financially
secure.
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IELTS essay Some people work for the organization all their working life. other think that it is better to work for different organization.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
337 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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