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Explain why you would like the job.give details of why you would be a suitable person to employ.Say how you would spend your free time while you are in australia

Explain why you would like the job. give details of why you would be a suitable person to employ. Say how you would spend your free time while you are in australia KrAL
I am writing this about you live with a family for six months and look after their six year old child. Yes i want to the job because i am a working in a child care activities and social works. I personally heart touching in a child and girls crime. So i will better future for kids to work in a Society. My name is andrew. i belong to sydney. i am a working in a child and girls save Society. my part time job is work to social activities. I work for child and girls bright future. my society are registerd. My id cardand society certificate no b1245 are mention in this. so i am best for this job. Well i first a to take care a your six year old child. because your child is my responsibilities and my free time after the work i looking market and museum etc. i promise to you are give me job oppertunity i do hundred percent of me. i have no complaint of my work. So they are my ideas. i am thankful to you. I look forward to hearing from you. Yours sincerly, martin
I am writing this about you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with a family for six months and look after their six year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
. Yes
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
want to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
am a working in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
care activities and social works. I
A verb is probably missing after 'personally'.
personally heart
touching in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
and girls crime.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
Did you mean "I"?
i
will better future for kids to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Society
. My name is
Possible spelling mistake found.
andrew
.
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
belong to
Possible spelling mistake found.
sydney
.
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
am a working in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
and girls save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Society
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
my
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
part time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
to social activities. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
and girls bright future.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
are
Possible spelling mistake found.
registerd
. My id
Possible spelling mistake found.
cardand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
certificate no b1245 are mention in this.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
am best for this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. Well i
first
a to take care a your six year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
because
your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
is my responsibilities and my free time after the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
looking market and museum etc.
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
promise to you are give me
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
Possible spelling mistake found.
oppertunity
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
do
Use "a hundred" or use a number before 'hundred'.
hundred
percent of me.
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
have no complaint of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
they are my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
.
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
am thankful to you. I look forward to hearing from you. Yours
Possible spelling mistake found.
sincerly
,
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
martin
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IELTS essay Explain why you would like the job. give details of why you would be a suitable person to employ. Say how you would spend your free time while you are in australia

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
193 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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