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Crime appears to be rising in most countries in the world, especially among young people. Identify the possible causes of this trend, and propose some solutions you think would be effective

Crime appears to be rising in most countries in the world, especially among young people. Identify the possible causes of this trend, and propose some solutions you think would be effective PYgg
effective. According to sources, crime rates have been on a rise across the globe and a focal increase has be observed in young offenders. This essay will discuss the probable causes and suggest possible solutions to the problem. One of the major issues that almost every country deals with is drug abuse in young children. Many of these young minds fall prey to gateway drugs like cannabis and cocaine and when they don't have the financial means to feed their habit, they depend on illegal activities like pickpocketing and robberies to attain funds. Another cause of crime rates increasing in adolescents is the failure of the social services system in western countries whereas in developing countries it does not exist at all. Young children are forced to fend for themselves in the harsh conditions of society. By this it meant that many of these young children are homeless and are prone to get recruited into gangs and other organized crime units where they are conditioned to become dangerous citizens of the society in turn leading to higher rate of criminal activity as they age. Turning to solutions, It might be helpful for countries to educate young children on the possible consequences of drug use and how it affects them as an individual and those around them. Further funding should be provided to implement a central social services system to protect youth under the age of 18 to protect them from not only homelessness but rather overall well being. These solutions would substantially reduce the crime rates in youth. In conclusion, Although crime rates are evident in the young vulnerable population of the society due to social issues like homeless and health issues like drug abuse. Perhaps it will be beneficial for countries to cooperate and implement social programs to protect young children from situations where they have to turn to crime for their basic necessities of survival
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
effective
.

According to sources,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
have been on a rise across the globe and a focal

increase has
be observed
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
offenders. This essay will discuss the probable

causes and suggest possible solutions to the problem.

One of the major issues that almost every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
deals with is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
abuse in young

children.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
minds fall prey to gateway
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
like cannabis and

cocaine and when they don't have the financial means to feed their habit, they

depend on illegal activities like
Possible spelling mistake found.
pickpocketing
and robberies to attain funds. Another

cause of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
increasing in adolescents is the failure of the social services

system in western
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
whereas in developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
it does not exist at all.

Young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are forced
to fend for themselves in the harsh conditions of society.

By this it meant that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are homeless and are prone to

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
recruited into gangs and other organized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
units where they
are conditioned


to become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
citizens of the society in turn leading to higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
of criminal

activity as they age.

Turning to solutions, It might be helpful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
on

the possible consequences of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
and how it affects them as an individual and

those around them.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Further
funding should
be provided
to implement a central social

services system to protect youth under the age of 18 to protect them from not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only


homelessness
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
rather
overall
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well being
. These solutions would
substantially


This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
in youth.

In conclusion
, Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
are evident in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
vulnerable population of

the society due to social issues like homeless and health issues like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
abuse.

Perhaps it will be beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to cooperate and implement social

programs to protect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from situations where they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
turn to crime

for their
Consider using "necessities".
basic necessities
of survival
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IELTS essay Crime appears to be rising in most countries in the world, especially among young people. Identify the possible causes of this trend, and propose some solutions you think would be effective

Essay
  American English
8 paragraphs
316 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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