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Courses and general online study have recently become very popular. However, some people still prefer to attend classes in person. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.2

Courses and general online study have recently become very popular. However, some people still prefer to attend classes in person. v. 2
In the salad days of the millennium, the society is polarised into two groups almost equally. Regarding the notion that, whether students should study their courses online or they still have to attend the traditional classes in their own. However, different people have their distinct mindset. In my opinion, I feel that online courses are better than regular classroom courses in many ways. The following paragraphs would shed light on both the approaches before make a final note, To commence with the first notion, there are myriad things to be shared in its favour. Online classes much cheaper than traditional courses. Thus, everyone from rich to poor can benefit through these classes. For example, by enrolling in an online programme, poor students who cannot afford an expensive college education can acquire valuable skills and earn degrees, that too from the comfort of their home. Furthermore, another advantage of online courses is their flexibility. Hence, you can take them whenever you want and from wherever you are. By contrast, in order to do a regular course, you have to be in a classroom at a specific hour. If you cannot make it at that time, you will miss the class. This is not the case with online learning. Shifting towards the second school of thought, traditional classroom learning also has its benefits. The most important among them is the better interaction between the teacher and the pupil. For instance, a machine can only deliver the lessons; it cannot figure out whether the student has understood the concepts. A teacher, on the other hand, can easily figure out whether the student has understood something by simply looking at their face. As a result, teachers can clear doubts then and there and this helps with the progress of the student. Yet, the lack of flexibility and higher costs make traditional learning an enviable option for many students. To conclude, after analysing both sides of the argument, it is not hard to see that traditional learning and online learning have their merits and demerits. Yet, in my opinion, online learning is better because it makes education accessible to almost everyone – even people who have a full time job.
In the salad days of the millennium, the society is
Possible spelling mistake. 'polarised' is British English.
polarised
into two groups almost
equally
. Regarding the notion that, whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should study their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
online or
they
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
attend the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have their distinct mindset. In my opinion, I feel that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
are better than regular classroom
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways. The following paragraphs would shed light on both the approaches
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a final note,

To commence with the
first
notion, there are myriad things to
be shared
in its
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
much cheaper than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
.
Thus
, everyone from rich to poor can benefit through these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
.
For example
, by enrolling in an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
Possible spelling mistake. 'programme' is British English.
programme
, poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who cannot afford an expensive college education can acquire valuable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and earn degrees, that too from the comfort of their home.
Furthermore
, another advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
is their flexibility.
Hence
, you can take them whenever you want and from wherever you are. By contrast, in order to do a regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
, you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be in a classroom at a specific hour. If you cannot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
it at that time, you will miss the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
. This is not the case with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
learning.

Shifting towards the second school of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
classroom
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
also
has its benefits. The most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
among them is the better interaction between the teacher and the pupil.
For instance
, a machine can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
deliver the lessons; it cannot figure out whether the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
has understood the concepts. A teacher,
on the other hand
, can
easily
figure out whether the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
has understood something by
simply
looking at their face.
As a result
, teachers can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
doubts then and there and this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
with the progress of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
.
Yet
, the lack of flexibility and higher costs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
an enviable option for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
students.

To conclude
, after
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysing' is British English.
analysing
both sides of the argument, it is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
This verb is used with the infinitive: "to have"
have
their merits and demerits.
Yet
, in my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
is better
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
education accessible to almost everyone
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who have a full time job.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay Courses and general online study have recently become very popular. However, some people still prefer to attend classes in person. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
365 words
9
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 9.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 9.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 9.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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