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Courses and general online study have recently become very popular. However, somepeople still prefer to attend classes in person. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

Courses and general online study have recently become very popular. However, somepeople still prefer to attend classes in person. v. 1
In the modern era, sophomores tend to choose other courses, excluding science, yet the causes of their actions are still being discussed by people. If this continues, every aspect regarding our lifestyles in the future will be affected, since the numbers of scientists will decrease significantly. In this essay, the causes and effects of this issue will be critically explained. To begin with, youngsters’ lack of interest in science is probably our utmost comprehensible reason to avoid learning science in the college. Since in the elementary school, children have been taught a lot of things, including the contrasting subjects: Science and Art. The majority of them are more likely to deepen their knowledge in art due to its simplicity, and art in particular, doesn’t need complex calculation that could only be handled with calculators. Students hate maths, especially the calculation, and only a minority of them has been bestowed with the will to venture math. Furthermore, human beings could not develop at the same pace as in the past due to the lack of scientists. The human being has developed with the assistance of the world’s greatest thinkers, such as; Albert Einstein, Stephen Hawking, etc. There were a lot of them back then, but now we could only dream of having 3 of them. With a small group of current-scientists, we couldn’t unravel the universe’s enigmas since they are far more complicated and incomprehensible to our minds. In a nutshell, the reason why people tend to not choose science in the university is no other than their interests, and if this couldn’t be handled, we will be prohibited to improve our lifestyles.
In the modern era, sophomores tend to choose other courses, excluding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
,
yet
the causes of their actions are
still
being discussed
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. If this continues, every aspect regarding our lifestyles in the future will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
, since the numbers of scientists will decrease
significantly
. In this essay, the causes and effects of this issue will be
critically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, youngsters’ lack of interest in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
is
probably
our utmost comprehensible reason to avoid learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
in the college. Since in the elementary school, children have
been taught
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
things, including the contrasting subjects:
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
and Art. The majority of them are more likely to deepen their knowledge in art due to its simplicity, and art
in particular
, doesn’t need complex calculation that could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be handled
with calculators. Students hate
Possible spelling mistake. 'maths' is British English.
maths
,
especially
the calculation, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a minority of them has
been bestowed
with the will to venture math.

Furthermore
, human beings could not develop at the same pace as in the past due to the lack of scientists. The human being has developed with the assistance of the world’s greatest thinkers, such as; Albert Einstein, Stephen Hawking, etc. There were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
them back then,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
we could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
dream of having 3 of them. With a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
group of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
-scientists, we couldn’t unravel the universe’s enigmas since they are far more complicated and incomprehensible to our minds.

In a nutshell, the reason why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
tend to not choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
in the university is no other than their interests, and if this couldn’t
be handled
, we will
be prohibited
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our lifestyles.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay Courses and general online study have recently become very popular. However, somepeople still prefer to attend classes in person. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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