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What problems do adult have if they cannot read and write?

What problems do adult have if they cannot read and write? NMLK0
I think illiteracy has a major effect on basic needs in a variety of fields. At first, doing any paperwork, filling out forms, reading books, newspapers, medical procedures and etcetera isn't possible without knowing how to read and write. Secondly in social life, unless one has adequate literacy skills, they will participate and function happily within communities. This means it's necessary that one should have the ability to read and write so as to be a part of society. Moreover, without literacy, adults are not being able to perform at suitable jobs which can increase poverty. As a parent, you should encourage your child and be a good sample for them, but illiteracy is not. therefore if one arent literate or have poor literacy, they will trap in so many problems
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
illiteracy has a major effect on basic needs in a variety of fields.

At
first
, doing any paperwork, filling out forms, reading books, newspapers, medical procedures and etcetera isn't possible without knowing how to read and write.

Secondly
in social life, unless one has adequate literacy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, they will participate and function
happily
within communities. This means it's necessary that one should have the ability to read and write
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
be a part of society.

Moreover
, without literacy, adults are not being able to perform at suitable jobs which can increase poverty. As a parent, you should encourage your child and be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
sample for them,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
illiteracy is not.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
therefore
if one
Possible spelling mistake found
arent
literate or have poor literacy, they will trap in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems
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IELTS essay What problems do adult have if they cannot read and write?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
130 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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