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COUNTRIES SHOULD RESTRICT FOREIGN COMPANIES FROM OPENING OFFICES AND FACTORIES INORDER TO PROTECT LOCAL BUSINESSES. DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE?

COUNTRIES SHOULD RESTRICT FOREIGN COMPANIES FROM OPENING OFFICES AND FACTORIES INORDER TO PROTECT LOCAL BUSINESSES. n6mPR
Nowadays foreign companies have major role in all countries and at the same time countries should control foreign companies for opening offices and industries to save the local businesses. To a certain extent I disagree with this statement. Prime reason, why I think it is important is that when a foreign companies decided to open their office or factories in any country it would give more opportunity to unemployment people. To be clearer, there are somany students compete their graduation and donot have any job. When a foreign company started their business in a country these types of freshers get a job in that sector and they were a chance to show their ideas and getting a experience in that field. Secondly, when these type of inter national companies started their business people get good foreign goods and high quality materials in a reasonable price. Moreover, when these type of foreign companies plant their industries and factories in a country it give a good revenue to government of that country and it help the development of the country. However, these types of multinational business takes place its would be effect small scale industries in a very bad way. Some time foreign companies gives so many offers to people for example, some companies like Adidas a, Nike give 50 % off, and buy one get one offers these types of approaches of foreign companies leads a huge loss in local scale business. After analysing both views, I think foreign companies have major role in development of a country and at the same time government should introduce some laws and provide some extra subsidies to protect small scale business.
Nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
have major role in all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and at the same time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should control
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
for opening offices and industries to save the local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
. To a certain extent I disagree with this statement.

Prime reason, why I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
is that when a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "company"?
companies
decided to open their office or factories in any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
it would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
more opportunity to unemployment
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. To be clearer, there are
Possible spelling mistake found.
somany
students compete their graduation and
Possible spelling mistake found.
donot
have any job. When a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
types
of freshers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a job in that
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
sector and
they were a chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and getting
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
experience in that field.

Secondly
, when these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
type
of inter national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and high quality materials in a reasonable price.
Moreover
, when these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
type
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
plant their industries and factories in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
it
Did you mean "gives"?
give
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
revenue to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and it
Did you mean "helps"?
help
the development of the country.

However
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
types
of multinational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
takes place
Did you mean "it's" (="it is") instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
its
would be effect
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
scale industries in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
way.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
offers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
for example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
like Adidas
Did you forget something after 'a'?
a,
Nike
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
50 % off, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
one offers these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
types
of approaches of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
leads a huge loss in local scale business.

After
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysing' is British English.
analysing
both views, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
have major role in development of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and at the same time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should introduce
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
laws and provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extra subsidies to protect
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
scale
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
.
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IELTS essay COUNTRIES SHOULD RESTRICT FOREIGN COMPANIES FROM OPENING OFFICES AND FACTORIES INORDER TO PROTECT LOCAL BUSINESSES.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
277 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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