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Countries should not replace their traditional culture with modern culture . To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Countries should not replace their traditional culture with modern culture. MMr9a
It is argued that countries should not change their traditional culture into modern culture. Personally, I partially agree with this view, and will give my reasons below On the one hand, I agree that museums and galleries should abandon entrance fees since this would encourage more people to visit them and enjoy their collections. Museums and galleries house artworks or artefacts of great educational and historical value. Thus, it is nearly impossible for most visitors to exit a museum or a gallery without gaining any information or understanding. Take for example war museums in my city, Ho Chi Minh City. These museums are home to worthwhile exhibits through which visitors can be given in-depth knowledge of Vietnamese military history and wars the country witnessed in the past. Therefore, it would be a huge shame if many people could not see their collections because their finances could not cover the cost.
It
is argued
that countries should not
change
their traditional culture into modern culture.
Personally
, I
partially
agree
with this view, and will give my reasons below

On the one hand, I
agree
that
museums
and galleries should abandon entrance fees since this would encourage more
people
to visit them and enjoy their collections.
Museums
and galleries
house
artworks or
artefacts
of great educational and historical value.
Thus
, it is
nearly
impossible for most visitors to exit a
museum
or a gallery without gaining any information or understanding. Take
for example
war
museums
in my city, Ho Chi Minh City. These
museums
are home to worthwhile exhibits through which visitors can be
given
in-depth knowledge of Vietnamese military history and wars the country witnessed in the past.
Therefore
, it would be a huge shame if
many
people
could not
see
their collections
because
their finances could not cover the cost.
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IELTS essay Countries should not replace their traditional culture with modern culture.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
150 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
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    One main idea per paragraph
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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