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Countries around the world will be facing significant challenges relating not only to the environment, but population and education as well. What problems will your country face in the next ten years? How can these problems be overcome?

World wide will soon face trials and difficulties including environment, population as well as education. This includes me beloved country where I originated which is the Philippines. It belongs to the Third world country and is currently experiencing numerous tragedies nowadays. Each department in the government should act immediately to avoid such challenges in the next ten years. One of the main problem that my country might encounter in a decade is poverty. Certainly, a lot family are struggling right now around the world and it could worsen for the following years if action were not taken. A low profile family may lead to inability to send their children to a good school. Therefore, education might increase its chance to affect our country's economy in the near future. Abundant teenage groups are still coping with their studies due to the insufficient resources from their family. It serves as an important role for our youth to grow as a person and it will definitely aid each individual to prosper and grow once they choose their own career. Another significant challenge that Philippines might encounter is the mishandling of the cutting-edge technology. Although it has a huge advantage to the modern times, it could also hindrance the proper development of each individual particularly with the society. For an instance, children today prefer to use gadgets while having dinner instead of socializing with their love ones. Having this kind of attitude towards them might lead to small misunderstandings that eventually worsen if not solved immediately. On the other hand, each Filipinos should take their part in doing their roles as an individual. Being a great example towards other is a simply act but will certainly add tremendous impact to the community and to our country. Pursuing ones goal in life and trying to achieve what is necessary could maintain a positive outcome that can lead to a successful life and avoid poverty. Government must provide the law that will enhance our countrymen to continue with their education like scholarships to cut off the problem with education. Finally, parent should keep an eye to their children and guide them to maintain well being of each members of the family. To conclude, significant challenges such as poverty, education and misuse of the modern technology can be avoided in the next ten years if each person do their part wholeheartedly thus we could maintain a better life in the next decade.
The adjective/adverb “worldwide” is spelled as one word.
World wide
will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
face trials and difficulties including environment, population
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. This includes me beloved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
where I originated which is the Philippines. It belongs to the Third world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and is
currently
experiencing numerous tragedies nowadays. Each department in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should act immediately to avoid such challenges in the
next
ten years.

One of the main problem that my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
encounter in a decade is poverty.
Certainly
,
If you mean a great quantity, use “a lot of family”.
a lot family
are struggling right
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
around the
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
world and
it could worsen for the following years if action were not taken. A low profile family may lead to inability to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
their children to a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
school.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
increase its chance to affect our country's economy in the near future. Abundant teenage groups are
still
coping with their studies due to the insufficient resources from their family. It serves as an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role for our youth to grow as a
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
person and
it will definitely aid each individual to prosper and grow once they choose their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
career. Another significant challenge that Philippines
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
encounter is the mishandling of the cutting-edge technology. Although it has a huge advantage to the modern times, it could
also
hindrance the proper development of each individual
particularly
with the society. For an instance, children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
gadgets while having dinner
instead
of socializing with their
Did you mean “loved ones”?
love ones
. Having this kind of attitude towards them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
misunderstandings that
eventually
worsen if not solved immediately.

On the other hand
, each Filipinos should take their part in doing their roles as an individual. Being a great example towards other is a
You used an adverb (‘simply’) instead of an adjective, or a noun (‘act’) instead of another adjective.
simply act
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
will
certainly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
tremendous impact to the community and to our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. Pursuing
Did you mean “one’s”?
ones
goal in life and trying to achieve what is necessary could maintain a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
outcome that can lead to a successful life and avoid poverty.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
provide the law that will enhance our countrymen to continue with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
like scholarships to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
off the problem with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
Finally
, parent should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
an eye to their children and guide them to maintain
This word is normally spelled with a hyphen.
well being
of each
The noun should probably be in the singular form: “member”?
members
of the family.

To conclude
, significant challenges such as poverty,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and misuse of the modern technology can
be avoided
in the
next
ten years if each person do their part
wholeheartedly
thus
we could maintain a better life in the
next
decade.
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IELTS essay Countries around the world will be facing significant challenges relating not only to the environment, but population and education as well. What problems will your country face in the next ten years? How can these problems be overcome?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
405 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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