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Offering solutions for people finding it difficult to combine working and studying

Offering solutions for people finding it difficult to combine working and studying WKEK
During student days, it is very difficult to find a job with flexible time, pays well and that doesn't take the student away from his or her studies. Many students have lack experience and time to work- but how to combine working and studying if we have a lack of defining our solutions? First of all, it's important to to draw up a study timetable, find work on weekends or weekdays with no school hours. For example, If time is not allocated, there is no specific schedule and everything falls out of hand, then the student has a drop in performance and may have health problems. In this way, if you have a schedule, you can manage time as you want, have time to do everything you need and of course rest. Another way to solve this problem could be to look for work in the near area where you live. If you work close to home, you will spend less your valuable time and money to get to work. As a result, there will be more time to rest before work and more likely to save money. Last, it would also be a good idea to work part-time job. Particularly, if a student don't work full-time, he or she has more time to do homework or get ready for the next week. Consequently, your grades won't fall and you'll have income from your work, because part-time work has no restrictions on salary or chosen job. To conclude, I believe that if a person wants to combine study and work, the most important thing is the desire. The main thing is not to overload yourself, make a flexible schedule, find a suitable place to work and begin to act.
During
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
days, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult to find a job with flexible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, pays well and that doesn't take the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
away from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
studies.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have lack experience and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
how to combine working and studying if we have a lack of defining our solutions?

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
Possible typo: you repeated a word
to to
draw up a study timetable, find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
on weekends or weekdays with no school hours.
For example
, If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is not allocated, there is no specific schedule and everything falls out of hand, then the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
has a drop in performance and may have health problems. In this way, if you have a schedule, you can manage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
as you want, have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to do everything you need and
of course
rest.

Another way to solve this problem could be to look for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in the near area where you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
. If you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
close to home, you will spend less your valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
As a result
, there will be more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to rest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and more likely to save money.

Last, it would
also
be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
part-time job.
Particularly
, if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
don't
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
full-time, he or she has more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to do homework or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
ready for the
next
week.
Consequently
, your grades won't fall and you'll have income from your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
has no restrictions on salary or chosen job.

To conclude
, I believe that if a person wants to combine study and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing is the desire. The main thing is not to overload yourself,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a flexible schedule, find a suitable place to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
to act.
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IELTS essay Offering solutions for people finding it difficult to combine working and studying

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
289 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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