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cosmopolitan cities with people from all over the world

cosmopolitan cities with people from all over the world JlR6e
Nowadays many countries have very cosmopolitan cities with people from all over the world. The main problem tha would be occur is that these people may not live together harmoniously. So the government must ensure that all these people can live together with out any problem. What is that clear the diffrences in languages, sotial behaviours and religioues can make these problems. For example in work places it can make faults in the results. And in public places the different in sotial bahaviours can make people to fight to each other. I think first of all the unique language can help to do that. The government can reduse the cost of learnig language classies to the minimum price to let all people could learn that country main language. The second one is their sotial behaviours. The government can produce TV programs to learn people sotial habits of people from other countries to show them how they should act to each other and also learn them to respect other people with different religioues. Certainly these methods couldent be enough to reduse the problems to zero but can help the people to live in a multicultural city. Some cities have a lot of rules to make harmonious. For example when I had a trip to netherlands my uncle told me that in this country there are a lot of bicycles and most of people tranportation is by them. So the government have performed many rules to let people transport easyly with their bicycles. For example there are a bicycle line in each streets that pedestrians and cars must not inter to them. I understood these rules when I watch The TV program that a police officer arrest someone that had accident in bicycle line. It can shows the TV programs can be the main Instrument for government to ensure people can live together harmoniously.
Nowadays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have
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very
cosmopolitan cities with
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people
from all over the world. The main problem
Possible spelling mistake found.
tha
would be
Consider using the past participle "occurred"?
occur
is that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
together
harmoniously
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
the
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government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
ensure that all these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
together
This word is usually written together. Did you mean "without"?
with out
any problem.

What is that
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clear
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
diffrences
in
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languages
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
sotial
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
religioues
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
these problems.
For example
in work places it can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
faults in the results. And in public places the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
sotial
Possible spelling mistake found.
bahaviours
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to fight to each other.

I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
first of all
the unique
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language
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to do that. The
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government
can
Possible spelling mistake found.
reduse
the cost of
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learnig
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
Possible spelling mistake found.
classies
to the minimum price to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
all
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people
could learn that
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country
main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
. The second one is their
Possible spelling mistake found.
sotial
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can produce TV programs to learn
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people
Possible spelling mistake found.
sotial
habits of
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people
from other
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countries
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
them how they should act to each other and
also
learn them to respect other
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people
with
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different
Possible spelling mistake found.
religioues
.

Certainly
these methods
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couldent
be
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enough
to
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reduse
the problems to zero
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but
can
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help
the
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people
to
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live
in a multicultural city.
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Some
cities have
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a lot of
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rules
to
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make
harmonious.
For example
when I had a trip to
Possible spelling mistake found.
netherlands
my uncle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
me that in this
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country
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycles
and most of
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people
Possible spelling mistake found.
tranportation
is by them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
the
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government
have performed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
transport
Possible spelling mistake found.
easyly
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycles
.
For example
there are a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycle
line in each
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "street"?
streets
that pedestrians and cars
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
not inter to them. I understood these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
when I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
The TV program that a police officer arrest someone that had accident in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycle
line. It can
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "show"
shows
the TV programs can be the main Instrument for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to ensure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
together
harmoniously
.
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IELTS essay cosmopolitan cities with people from all over the world

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
312 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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