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copetition and coorperation

copetition and coorperation JqmNa
It is arguable whether to encourge children to compete or to co-operate. In my opinion, both competition and co-operation cannot be neglect in the current society. Competition can motivate children to behave better in study. It is in human nature that we always want to be the winner. When teachers introduce a competition methology in class, they can give children aims to study harder than the other pupils. When having an aim, children tend to take initiative to learn and have more interest in study when teachers give them positive feedback. For example, if teachers give presents to students who gain best performance in academic tests, students will be more industrious on study to earn the gift. On the other hand, co-operative skill is essential for future career life. In modern society, there are a lot of different positions in a company and each position requires different occupational skills. Employees need to know how to co-operate with their colleagues in different functions to complete a task together. In a company, we have to work together with Finance department to get an invoice reimbersed and with IT department to get the computers fixed. Besides, promotion in a big orgnisation always requires social networking, which also relates to smooth co-operation with others before. So I think co-operate is as important as competition when it refers to adult life. In conclusion, while competition is of great importance for students when in school, knowing how to co-operate is a dispensable skill in future career for children.
It is arguable whether to
Possible spelling mistake found.
encourge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to compete or to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
co-operate
. In my opinion, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
and co-operation cannot be neglect in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
society.

Competition can motivate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to behave better in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
. It is in human nature that we always want to be the winner. When teachers introduce a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
Possible spelling mistake found.
methology
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
, they can give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
aims to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
harder than the other pupils. When having an aim,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
tend to take initiative to learn and have more interest in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
when teachers give them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
feedback.
For example
, if teachers give presents to students who
A determiner is probably missing here: "gain the best".
gain best
performance in academic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tests
, students will be more industrious on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
to earn the gift.

On the other hand
, co-operative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
is essential for future career life. In modern society, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
positions in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
and each position requires
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
occupational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. Employees need to know how to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
co-operate
with their colleagues in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
functions to complete a task together. In a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work together with Finance department to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an invoice
Possible spelling mistake found.
reimbersed
and with IT department to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the computers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
.
Besides
, promotion in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
Possible spelling mistake found.
orgnisation
always requires social networking, which
also
relates to smooth co-operation with others
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
co-operate
is as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
when it refers to adult life.

In conclusion
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
is of great importance for students when in school, knowing how to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
co-operate
is a dispensable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
in future career for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
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IELTS essay copetition and coorperation

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
252 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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