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Convenience foods will become increasingly prevalent and eventually replace traditional foods and traditional methods of food preparation

Convenience foods will become increasingly prevalent and eventually replace traditional foods and traditional methods of food preparation 52lGP
As far as i see, we are now living in a technology world, the job requirement make us to work heavier than in the past. That’s why we have less time to eat and bother food issue. Traditional food is predicted to be replaced by convenience food and also traditional methods of food preparation. Despite of the fact that, traditional food is made by fresh ingredients and it also was verified by the goverment but due to heavy job’s nature, it takes too long to prepare followed by it isn’t convenience if we require to eat anytime. On the other hand, I agreed with this following topic below, because to fullfil the citizen’s need, it is extremely marvellous that we could invent convenience food. It can be found at any restaurant and it can be servered very quickly. Also its methods activivates faster than the traditional one. Obviously, convenience food isn’t as fresh as traditional food due to it is made from cooking oil. To prevent harmful food and the sides effects of convenience food, the goverment should readjust processing process to insure its quality to the inhabitant In conclusion, the process of replaced traditional food will be conducted in the future to meet citizen needs and nowadays technology network.
As far as
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
, we are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
living in a technology world, the job requirement
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
us to work heavier than in the past. That’s why we have less time to eat and bother
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
issue.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is predicted
to
be replaced
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
convenience
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
methods of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
preparation.

Did you mean "Despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
Despite of
the fact that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is made
by fresh ingredients and it
also
was verified
by the
Possible spelling mistake found.
goverment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
due to heavy job’s nature, it takes too long to prepare followed by it isn’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
convenience
if we require
Did you mean "eating"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'require' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to eat
anytime.

On the other hand
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
with this following topic below,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
fullfil
the citizen’s need, it is
extremely
Possible spelling mistake. 'marvellous' is British English.
marvellous
that we could invent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
convenience
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. It can
be found
at any restaurant and it can be
Possible spelling mistake found.
servered
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
quickly
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
its methods
Possible spelling mistake found.
activivates
faster than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
one.
Obviously
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
convenience
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
isn’t as fresh as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
due to it
is made
from cooking oil.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
harmful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and the sides effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
convenience
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
goverment
should readjust processing process to insure its quality to the inhabitant

In conclusion
, the process of replaced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
will
be conducted
in the future to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
citizen needs and nowadays technology network.
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IELTS essay Convenience foods will become increasingly prevalent and eventually replace traditional foods and traditional methods of food preparation

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
210 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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