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Convenience food will become increasingly prevalent and eventually replace traditional foods and traditional methods of food preparation. To what degree do you agree or disagree? v.1

Convenience food will become increasingly prevalent and eventually replace traditional foods and traditional methods of food preparation. To what degree v. 1
Nowadays, with the development of modern lifestyle, convenience foods have become very popular with people. Some people believe that the increasing prevalence of such foods will pose a threat to the availability of traditional cuisine and methods of cooking in the future. Personally, I completely disagree with this view. The first reason lies in the concern about health. In order to improve convenience foods’ taste and palatability, food manufacturers often add artificial preservatives and other unhealthy ingredients. In addition, processed foods are laden with saturated fat, sugar, and sodium without providing much nutritional value. If consumed too regularly, such foods can quickly lead to serious health problems, for instance, obesity, diabetes, heart disease, cancers, and strokes. In fact, a pre-packed food meal contains 300 to 400kcal, even up to 1000kcal, while the figure for children’s needs reach just around 100kcal. A survey in Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam in 2015 indicated that the number of primary children getting overweight has increased four times over the period of seven years. Moreover, the reason for traditional cooking method’s survival is that traditional dishes represent a nation’s lifelong cultural values. Special occasions such as weddings, Christmas and New Year Festivals are marked by conventional foods. Take Vietnamese Chung cake as an example. Chung cake is the traditional dish prepared three days before Tet festival and eaten on New Year’s Eve to wish a good luck for the coming year. It is an indispensable specialty in every household on Tet holiday. Without this food, the festival’s traditional features might fade away over time. In conclusion, my view is that traditionally prepared foods play a vital part in human life and it is unlikely that convenience foods will replace conventional methods of food production and preparation in the future.
Nowadays, with the development of modern lifestyle, convenience
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
have become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
popular with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that the increasing prevalence of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
will pose a threat to the availability of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
cuisine and methods of cooking in the future.
Personally
, I completely disagree with this view.

The
first
reason lies in the concern about health. In order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
convenience
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods’
taste and
Possible spelling mistake found.
palatability
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
manufacturers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
artificial preservatives and other unhealthy ingredients.
In addition
, processed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
are laden with saturated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
, sugar, and sodium without providing much nutritional value. If consumed too
regularly
, such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
can
quickly
lead to serious health problems,
for instance
, obesity, diabetes, heart disease, cancers, and strokes. In fact, a
Possible spelling mistake found.
pre-packed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
meal contains 300 to 400kcal, even up to 1000kcal, while the figure for children’s needs reach
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
around 100kcal. A survey in Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam in 2015 indicated that the number of primary children getting overweight has increased four times over the period of seven years.

Moreover
, the reason for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
cooking method’s survival is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
dishes represent a nation’s lifelong cultural values. Special occasions such as weddings, Christmas and New Year Festivals
are marked
by conventional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
. Take Vietnamese Chung cake as an example. Chung cake is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
dish prepared three days
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
Tet festival and eaten on New Year’s Eve to wish a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
luck for the coming year. It is an indispensable specialty in every household on Tet holiday. Without this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, the festival’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
features might fade away over time.

In conclusion
, my view is that
traditionally
prepared
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
play a vital part in human life and it is unlikely that convenience
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
will replace conventional methods of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
production and preparation in the future.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
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IELTS essay Convenience food will become increasingly prevalent and eventually replace traditional foods and traditional methods of food preparation. To what degree v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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