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continuous coverage of sport

continuous coverage of sport LlNp3
There is no doubt that live sports coverage on television is very popular nowadays in a number of countries. There are many people who think that this might be the reason why the youngsters do not participate in outdoor games themselves, however, I completely disagree. Firstly, one of the main reasons for which many young people are not taking part in sports these days is fatigue. Today's educational system tends to have a toll on their health by keeping them busy throughout the day. Because of this, they often get too tired for any physical activities, and choose the easy way to enjoy sports. For example, playing soccer requires a substantial amount of energy, which they are usually drained off after a hard working day. Hence, going out and playing football themselves doesn't remain an option anymore. If people had more time to spare, they would have certainly preferred to go outdoors and enjoy a good match, instead of sitting idle inside the house, watching television. In fact, live matches may actually encourage them to play the sport themselves. The fact that numerous teenagers make their favourite star their role model and often tries to imitate their behaviour, playing style and fashion sense, supports the argument that they also motivate those kids to play like them as well. For instance, Ronaldo has been the star footballer for quite a few years now and many children as well as teenagers and adults have followed him, have bought a jersey with his name on it, have fought to get his jersey number as their own while playing with friends or in a match. Therefore, it is well proven how such stars motivate so many of the young people to play themselves. In reality, not having someone to follow or to idolize might have negatively impacted the willingness to play themselves more adversely. In conclusion, even though a handful hi of people might believe that the kids today are getting discouraged to play themselves simply because they get to watch thw sports even on television as and when it happens, i do not support this argument and believe that it is, as a matter of fact, is more of an encouraging factor for people to engage in such sports event.
There is no doubt that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
coverage on television is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
popular nowadays in a number of countries. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that this might be the reason why the youngsters do not participate in outdoor games themselves,
however
, I completely disagree.

Firstly
, one of the main reasons for which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not taking part in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
these days is fatigue.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
's educational system tends to have a toll on their health by keeping them busy throughout the day.
Because of this
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
too tired for any physical activities, and choose the easy way to enjoy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
soccer requires a substantial amount of energy, which they are
usually
drained off after a
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
hard working
day.
Hence
, going out and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
football themselves doesn't remain an option anymore. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
had more time to spare, they would have
certainly
preferred to go outdoors and enjoy a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
match,
instead
of sitting idle inside the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
, watching television.

In fact,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
matches may actually encourage them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
themselves. The fact that numerous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
star their role model and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
tries to imitate their
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
style and fashion sense, supports the argument that they
also
motivate those kids to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
like them
as well
.
For instance
, Ronaldo has been the star footballer for quite a few years
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
children
as well
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
and adults have followed him, have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
a jersey with his name on it, have fought to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
his jersey number as their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
with friends or in a match.
Therefore
, it is well proven how such stars motivate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of the young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
themselves. In reality, not having someone to follow or to idolize might have
negatively
impacted the willingness to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
themselves more
adversely
.

In conclusion
,
even though
a handful hi of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
might believe that the kids
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
are getting discouraged to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
themselves
simply
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
Possible spelling mistake found.
thw
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
even on television as and when it happens,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
do not support this argument and believe that it is, as a matter of fact, is more of an encouraging factor for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to engage in such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
.
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IELTS essay continuous coverage of sport

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
377 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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