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Some people think that job satisfaction is more important than job security, while some people think that they cannot always expect job satisfaction, a permanent job is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that job satisfaction is more important than job security, while some people think that they cannot always expect job satisfaction, a permanent job is more important. 0AM75
It is an undeniable fact that job security is the indispensible factor when choosing an appropriate job; as such a job provide a long-term income without the person having to worry if one were to be in a jeopardous situation. Nevertheless, many argues that career satisfaction is weighed the same, if not more, compared to the safety aspect of a job. These individuals adore happiness while doing the job, irrespective of other important factors. While both views are plausible to a certain extent, I lean towards security more than the other. One compelling reason for guaranteed safety during the working hours is due to the exorbitant cost for hospitality and mental therapies. For instance, construction workers, especially those involved in high building, are at great risk of sudden fall that could claim their lives, or at least suffer bad injuries that would make them difficult to continue working. The other factor that is worth consider is the mental damage enclosed aftermath. Being intimidated by such experiencing will pose a thinking that would make the workers afraid of their current job, and forbid them from ever working once more. Even after having recovered after the trauma, the person will be in difficulty apply jobs that is not pertain to their previous occupation. As a result, more working tools should be given and equipped in working environment to ensure no unexpected accidents occur. Despite the aforementioned benefits, contentment for jobs, as apply to a certain people, is the most important quality for a desirable career. A particular population values challenges and happiness as much as security. Notwithstanding the fact that the job is highly secured or even well-paid, people who tend to take interest in such aspects would regard their current job as tedious and time wasting. This means not only are they going to leave the said job but they are also going to persuade others with the same thought to quit the job. In conclusion, both job satisfaction as well as job security are equally necessary for a person whether they decide to pursue the job or not.
It is an undeniable fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
is the
Possible spelling mistake found.
indispensible
factor when choosing an appropriate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
; as such a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
provide a long-term income without the person having to worry if one were to be in a
Possible spelling mistake found.
jeopardous
situation.
Nevertheless
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
argues that career satisfaction
is weighed
the same, if not more, compared to the safety aspect of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. These individuals adore happiness while doing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, irrespective of other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factors. While both views are plausible to a certain extent, I lean towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
more than the other.

One compelling reason for guaranteed safety during the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
hours is due to the exorbitant cost for hospitality and mental therapies.
For instance
, construction workers,
especially
those involved in high building, are at great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of sudden fall that could claim their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, or at least suffer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
injuries that would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them difficult to continue
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
. The other factor
that is
worth consider is the mental damage enclosed aftermath.
Being intimidated
by such experiencing will pose a thinking that would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the workers afraid of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, and forbid them from ever
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
once more. Even after having recovered after the trauma, the person will be in difficulty apply
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
that is
not
Consider using a past participle here: "pertained".
pertain
to their previous occupation.
As a result
, more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
tools should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
and equipped in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
environment to ensure no unexpected accidents occur.

Despite the aforementioned benefits, contentment for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
, as apply to a certain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
quality for a desirable career. A particular population values challenges and happiness as much as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
. Notwithstanding the fact that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is
highly
secured or even well-paid,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who tend to take interest in such aspects would regard their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
as tedious and
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
time wasting
. This means not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
are they going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
the said
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they are
also
going to persuade others with the same
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
to quit the job.

In conclusion
, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
satisfaction
Probable usage error. Use "and" after 'both'.
as well as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
are
equally
necessary for a person whether they decide to pursue the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
or not.
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IELTS essay Some people think that job satisfaction is more important than job security, while some people think that they cannot always expect job satisfaction, a permanent job is more important.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
348 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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