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Consumer behavior has changed considerably in recent years due to technology. In what ways does technology affect consumer activities such as shopping? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Consumer behavior has changed considerably in recent years due to technology. In what ways does technology affect consumer activities such as shopping? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? D2QkE
Nowadays, thanks to the development of high technology and the internet, people's lives are becoming better and better. This has lead to lots of changes, first and foremost is the behavior of people in consumerism. While there are certainly valid arguments to the contrary, I personally believe that the benefits of this trend will outweigh its drawbacks. To embark on, it can be easily seen that technology has affected consumer activities a lot, particularly in shopping. First and foremost, in the present day, many entrepreneurs have developed some websites to buy things online such as tiki, shopee, lazada and amazon. And every people, especially the young prefer look for what they need on these websites rather than go to the department stores or supermarkets. Furthermore, when people choose not to go out to buy things, the selling of many retails or stores might be affected. For example, the sellers import many kinds of clothes to make money, however, the buyers do not buy those because they can buy them on the internet and they can be even cheaper than those in a shop. As a result, the clothes can not be sold and this will definitely affect those shops' finance. However, this trend has created a lot of benefits to people's lives too. Firstly, it is much more convenient for people to buy things online than at the shops. For example, some employees can search for what they want on the internet during their break time, and they do not have to go out to such stores. It will definitely be less time-consuming and tiring. Moreover, people can save a lot of money while buying things online, because the things on the internet are definitely cheaper than those in a shop and every shop has vouchers to decrease the price down a little more. This development also creates a lot of jobs for people: every citizen of all ages can sell things online to make a living. On the other hand, buying things online might be bad in some cases, for instance, citizens might order the wrong size of dresses that can not be changed and the things on the internet might not be the same as what we receive when we buy it. To conclude, I personally think that this change has lead to a plethora of things both in people's lives and the consumerism of many stores and shops. As a result, people can save a lot of money and time thanks to this trend, but this development is not really beneficial to the owners of shops in some ways.
Nowadays, thanks to the development of high technology and the internet,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
are becoming better and better. This has lead to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lots
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
,
first
and foremost is the behavior of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in consumerism. While there are
certainly
valid arguments to the contrary, I
personally
believe that the benefits of this trend will outweigh its drawbacks. To embark on, it can be
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that technology has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
consumer activities a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
,
particularly
in shopping.
First
and foremost, in the present day,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
entrepreneurs have developed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
websites to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
things
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
tiki
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
shopee
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
lazada
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
amazon
. And every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
especially
the young prefer look for what they need on these websites
rather
than go to the department
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
or supermarkets.
Furthermore
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choose not to go out to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
things, the selling of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
retails or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
.
For example
, the sellers import
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
kinds of clothes to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
money,
however
, the buyers do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
those
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
them on the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
internet and
they can be even cheaper than those in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
.
As a result
, the clothes can not
be sold
and this will definitely affect those shops' finance.
However
, this trend has created a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of benefits to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
too.
Firstly
, it is much more convenient for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
things
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
than at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
employees can search for what they want on the internet during their break time, and they do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
go out to such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
. It will definitely be less time-consuming and tiring.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can save a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of money while buying things
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the things on the internet are definitely cheaper than those in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
and every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
has vouchers to decrease the price down a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
more. This development
also
creates a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of jobs for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
: every citizen of all ages can sell things
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a living.
On the other hand
, buying things
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases,
for instance
, citizens
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
order the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
size of dresses that can not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
and the things on the internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
not be the same as what we receive when we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
it.
To conclude
, I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
has lead to a plethora of things both in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and the consumerism of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can save a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of money and time thanks to this trend,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this development is not
really
beneficial to the owners of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ways.
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IELTS essay Consumer behavior has changed considerably in recent years due to technology. In what ways does technology affect consumer activities such as shopping? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
432 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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