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considered an essential part of all cultures throughout the world. However, these days fewer and fewer people appreciate art and turn their focus to science, technology and business v.2

considered an essential part of all cultures throughout the world. However, these days fewer and fewer people appreciate art and turn their focus to science, technology and business v. 2
Artt has been around for several years. While people who understand and care for art are decreasing in number, the amount of people gravitating towards applied sciences are more. This essay summarizes the reasons for shift in interest from art towards other research based fields all around the globe Art is historically considered a medium to express philosophical beliefs of people throughout the world. Paintings made by Vincent Van Gogh, Da Vinci were way ahead of their own time. Their innovations were not lauded enough. Artists were handsomely paid for their creations by the art lovers. It takes years of perfection to produce a masterpiece. It is a tough job to convey a message and attract audience all at the same time. Artist as a profession was therefore considered one of the toughest. Innovations in science did not have a bigger audience back then. Now that internet is available to people are more involved in research and trade, even in remote areas. People can comprehend the importance of science, whereas in the olden days value of art was greater than science. By using the advancements in technology people can communicate and conduct business at a much quicker pace. All of this whilst making money in a matter of seconds. This has pivoted the interest of people towards science and technology from art. In conclusion, with abundant resources at the their finger tips people are more focused than ever in science and business fields on the other hand it is difficult to acquire artistic skills. Since art is a creative profession that needs time and patience to develop people prefer a much easier way to make a living which is through technology.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Artt
has been around for several years. While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who understand and care for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
are decreasing in number, the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
gravitating towards applied
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sciences
are more. This essay summarizes the reasons for shift in interest from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
towards other research based fields all around the
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
globe


Art is
historically
considered a medium to express philosophical beliefs of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
throughout the world. Paintings made by
If the term is a proper noun, use the suggested capitalization.
Vincent Van Gogh
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Da
Vinci were way ahead of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
time. Their innovations were not lauded
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
. Artists were
handsomely
paid for their creations by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
lovers. It takes years of perfection to produce a masterpiece. It is a tough job to convey a message and attract audience all at the same time. Artist as a profession was
therefore
considered one of the toughest.

Innovations in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
did not have a bigger audience back then.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
that internet is available to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more involved in research and trade, even in remote areas.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
can comprehend the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
, whereas in the olden days value of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
was greater than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
. By using the advancements in technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can communicate and conduct business at a much quicker pace. All of this whilst making money in a matter of seconds. This has pivoted the interest of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and technology from art.

In conclusion
, with abundant resources at
A determiner cannot combine with a possessive pronoun. Did you mean simply "their finger" or "the finger"?
the their finger
tips
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more focused than ever in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and business fields
on the other hand
it is difficult to acquire artistic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. Since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is a creative profession that needs time and patience to develop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer a much easier way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a living which is through technology.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay considered an essential part of all cultures throughout the world. However, these days fewer and fewer people appreciate art and turn their focus to science, technology and business v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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