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Computers jave been made use of the way people study. Do the advantages of using computers as a study tool outweight the disadventages?

Computers jave been made use of the way people study. Do the advantages of using computers as a study tool outweight the disadventages? o8Wjw
Apprence of the computer bring a lot of changes the way how people gets the bunch of knowledges. This trend is mostly benefitial, but there are also exist disbenefitial sides. In this essay, will talk positive and negative point about using pc for education reasons. This days, students can reduce their time and affort for studying. The reason is not especially the pc gives us the sea of information, they can able to send fast certainly. Before the using the computer, student must bring their datas and notes, and those thing take up their bags and shlefs. Not just only that, use of the computers positive effet is offering internet so students can access to many varaiaty of classes and metarials. Nowdays mant schools and education centres carry out computer support learning program, so computer becomes essential goods for useful study kit. For example, many university offer online study with computer no matter time and place, and also students submit their assignment by computer.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Apprence
of the computer bring
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a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
the way how
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
gets
the bunch of
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knowledges
. This trend is
mostly
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benefitial
,
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but
there are
also
exist
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disbenefitial
sides. In this essay, will talk
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
point about using
Possible spelling mistake found.
pc
for education reasons.

It seems that a possessive apostrophe is missing.
This days
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their time and
Possible spelling mistake found.
affort
for studying. The reason is not
especially
the
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pc
gives us the sea of information, they
Please check whether one of these words is redundant.
can able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
certainly
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
the using the computer,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
bring their
Possible spelling mistake found.
datas
and notes, and those thing take up their bags and
Possible spelling mistake found.
shlefs
. Not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
that,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of the computers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
Possible spelling mistake found.
effet
is offering internet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can access to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Possible spelling mistake found.
varaiaty
of classes and
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metarials
.
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Nowdays
Possible spelling mistake found.
mant
schools and education
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
carry out computer support learning program,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
computer becomes essential
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
for useful study kit.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
university offer online study with computer no matter time and place, and
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
submit their assignment by computer.
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IELTS essay Computers jave been made use of the way people study. Do the advantages of using computers as a study tool outweight the disadventages?

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
164 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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