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Computers in Elementary school

Computers in Elementary school KWK6R
Education is developing in the world, and Schools are focusing on computer education more. Parents believe that including computers in education is a bad thing, but in my opinion, I think that including computers in elementary schools is a good thing and very helpful and the advantages are more than the disadvantages because including computer in elementary school can do a lot of helpful things Such as, finding online resources, having fun and acquiring advanced skills. Firstly, finding online recourses is one of the most important basics in student tasks that elementary school students should learn to make it easier for them when needed, such as, searching and checking for online references. Secondly, kids love computer learning more than regular paper learning in some lessons because there are many websites that add fun in education. Thirdly, teaching students about computer programming in elementary school may seem to be too early, an early start helps students interested in computer science learn fundamental skills and gives all students a greater understanding of how computers function. Several programming languages for beginners or mastering the fundamentals of computer design, such as, making a logo or editing images. In conclusion, parents always think that including computers in education is a very bad decision, but in my opinion, I believe that including computers in education is very helpful and important in all ages. I personally prefer computer learning in education for some reasons such as, finding online resources, having fun and acquiring advanced skills.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
is developing in the world, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Schools
are focusing on computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
more. Parents believe that including computers in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
thing,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that including computers in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elementary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
thing and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
helpful and the advantages are more than the disadvantages
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
including computer in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elementary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
can do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
helpful things Such as, finding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
resources, having fun and acquiring advanced
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

Firstly
, finding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
recourses is one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
basics in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
tasks that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elementary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should learn to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it easier for them when needed, such as, searching and checking for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
references.
Secondly
, kids
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
computer learning more than regular paper learning in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
lessons
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
websites that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
fun in education.

Thirdly
, teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
about computer programming in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elementary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
may seem to be too early, an early
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
interested in computer science learn fundamental
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and gives all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
a greater understanding of how computers function. Several programming languages for beginners or mastering the fundamentals of computer design, such as, making a logo or editing images.

In conclusion
, parents always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that including computers in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
decision,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in my opinion, I believe that including computers in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
helpful and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in all ages. I
personally
prefer computer learning in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons such as, finding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
resources, having fun and acquiring advanced
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
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IELTS essay Computers in Elementary school

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
248 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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