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“Computers do not help children learn effectively. The use of computers at schools has a negative effect on children’s physical and mental development.” To what extent do you agree or disagree?

“Computers do not help children learn effectively. The use of computers at schools has a negative effect on children’s physical and mental development. ” 0Ex0O
Some people argue that the use of computers at schools has a detrimental effect on children. Whilst I can see that there may be problems with using computers at schools, I disagree very strongly that the overall effect has been negative. Some people claim that computers do not help children learn effectively. Given the incredible range of things – from games to information – available with the use of computers, I find this hard to believe. It is true that some children are likely to become distracted from their studies by other things they find on computers, but this is a question for teachers and discipline, not a problem with the use of computers in the classroom. At school, computers can help children develop their problem-solving, communication and mathematics skills, to name just three. The effect on their mental development is much more likely to be satisfying and enjoyable than tedious and ineffectual. It is a similar situation when people say that computers have negative effects on children’s physical development. Of course, if children are placed in front of computers for the entire school day, every school day, they are likely to suffer, but this is not how computers are used by teachers and schools in reality. Computers are most likely to be used where they provide the greatest benefits. If we truly think that teachers are so incompetent that they cannot reasonably judge when to use computers in class, we shouldn’t send our children to schools at all! Therefore, I see no reason for the discontinued use of computers at school. There are many useful, innovative ways that computers can benefit children by developing their skills and abilities. Of course, this is not to suggest that computers be used for every class!
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Some
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people
argue that the
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use
of computers at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
has a detrimental
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effect
on
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children
. Whilst I can
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see
that there may be problems with using computers at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
, I disagree
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very
strongly
that the
overall
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effect
has been
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negative
.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
claim that computers do not
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help
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children
learn
effectively
.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
the incredible range of things
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
from games to information
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
available

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with
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of computers, I find this
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hard
to believe. It is true that
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some


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children
are
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likely
to become distracted from their studies by other things they find on computers,
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but
this is a question for teachers and discipline, not a problem with the
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use
of computers in the classroom. At
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school
, computers can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
develop their problem-solving, communication and mathematics
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skills
, to name
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just
three. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
on their mental development is much more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
likely
to be satisfying and enjoyable than tedious and ineffectual.

It is a similar situation when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
say that computers have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
physical development.
Of course
, if
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children
are placed
in front of computers for the entire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
day, every
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school
day, they are
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likely
to suffer,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this is not how computers are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by teachers and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
in reality. Computers are most
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likely
to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
where they provide the greatest benefits. If we
truly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that teachers are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
incompetent that they cannot

reasonably
judge when to
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use
computers in
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class
, we shouldn’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
at all!

Therefore
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
no reason for the discontinued
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of computers at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
useful, innovative ways that computers can benefit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
by developing their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and abilities.
Of course
, this is not to suggest that computers be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for every
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
!
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IELTS essay “Computers do not help children learn effectively. The use of computers at schools has a negative effect on children’s physical and mental development. ”

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
293 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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