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HEATH ISSUES due to new technology

HEATH ISSUES due to new technology gWVka
Nowadays, there are many drawbacks in regards to health: some of the people feels this is because of the new upgradation of technology. In my opinion, I totally disagree with this notion. Reasons behind my disagreement in terms of heath problems due to upliftment in world. To begin with, an individual's health is always depends on their activities and diet. There are many people those who find problems because of lack of nutrients in their food. However, many health problems are transfer in them from their family. In following to this, some humans try to many medical treatment to get cure from disease. Moreover, the life style or living pattern can be one of the reason for their health issues. Furthermore, heath problems also arise due to not enough care 9f their body. Sometimes laziness can convert a person's health body to diseases. Exercise and meditation can help body to recover from problems. Nevertheless, the health is at bad stage because of individuals bad habits. Lack of fitness level can be a main factor for their bodies immunity system's weakness. To sum up, a human body can resist every kind of problems if their meals are healthy. The another way to improve body system is by keeping their body fit by performing exercises of different types.
Nowadays, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
drawbacks
Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
in regards to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
:
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
feels this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the new
Possible spelling mistake found.
upgradation
of technology. In my opinion, I
totally
disagree with this notion. Reasons behind my disagreement in terms of heath
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
due to
Possible spelling mistake found.
upliftment
in world.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, an individual's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is always depends on their activities and diet. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
those who find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of lack of nutrients in their food.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
are transfer in them from their family. In following to this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
humans try to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
medical treatment to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
The usual collocation for "cure" is "of" not "". Did you mean "cure of"?
cure from
disease.
Moreover
, the life style or living pattern can be one of the reason for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
issues.

Furthermore
, heath
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
also
arise due to not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
care 9f their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
laziness can convert a person's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
to diseases. Exercise and meditation can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
to recover from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
Nevertheless
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
stage
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habits. Lack of fitness level can be a main factor for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bodies
immunity system's weakness.

To sum up, a human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
can resist every kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
if their meals are healthy. The another way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
system is by keeping their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
fit by performing exercises of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types.
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IELTS essay HEATH ISSUES due to new technology

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
216 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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