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computers are the basic necessity of the modern world.

computers are the basic necessity of the modern world. 9LnE3
The majority of people believe that computers are the basic necessity of the modern world. That is why they and their programs should teach to students in classrooms. Some people think that this situation can be a risk for young children. I agree with this first notion. This essay will discuss both views and explain my opinion. Today, it is a popular belief that computer computers bring to benefit children extremely, thus computer should be in the classroom owing to the fact that adapting to technology is vital for all the world. Students do homework easily via computer, tablet, and laptop. That is why It is very crucial for them to learn computer as basic education. To give a clear example, according to the result of a study conducted by the California Institute and Technology, the fact that children learned to use computers in schools increased their stability in doing homework. On the other hand, some people think that learning computer brings to damage to students as they waste too much time. Sometimes, young people play games a lot of time dramatically. Because of this, their lessons are badly affected and their family punish to children. For instance, the parents generally take over their computers because they play too many games. From my perspective, it is extremely important to have a computer in the classroom. Children must grow up adopting technology. This situation is the best investment for them. In conclusion, a plethora of people say that computers must be in every classroom, while other claim that this notion can be harmful to them. I strongly agree with the first notion. In this way, children will grow up more knowledgeable.
The majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that computers are the basic necessity of the modern world.
That is
why they and their programs should teach to students in classrooms.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that this situation can be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
for young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this
first
notion. This essay will discuss both views and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
my opinion.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, it is a popular belief that computer computers bring to benefit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
extremely
,
thus
computer should be in the classroom owing to the fact that adapting to technology is vital for all the world. Students do homework
easily
via computer, tablet, and laptop.
That is
why It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
crucial for them to learn computer as basic education. To give a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
example, according to the result of a study conducted by the California Institute and Technology, the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
learned to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
computers in schools increased their stability in doing homework.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that learning computer brings to damage to students as they waste too much time.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
, young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
play games
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time
dramatically
.
Because of this
, their lessons are
badly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
and their family punish to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
For instance
, the parents
generally
take over their computers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they play too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
games.

From my perspective, it is
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to have a computer in the classroom.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
grow up adopting technology. This situation is the best investment for them.

In conclusion
, a plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
say that computers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be in every classroom, while other claim that this notion can be harmful to them. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
first
notion. In this way,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will grow up more knowledgeable.
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IELTS essay computers are the basic necessity of the modern world.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
280 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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