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Computers are becoming essential part of education. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages and give your opinion v.1

Computers are becoming essential part of education. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages and give your opinion v. 1
In current society, computers have brought about enormous imminent benefits for people's lives and have played an active role in children's cognitive and children's schooling in the schools. Although there are convincing arguments on both sides of this controversial issue, I profoundly agree with this assertion discussing computers leave a positive impact on schooling for children in schools. On the one hand, using technology and in particular, computers in schools has always been alluring to children; moreover, using them has brought about a huge number of merits for them. Using computers, first of all, allow children to keep up with the latest information gained from the Internet. In fact, a massive number of pupils studying in schools can access to an ocean of information, the Internet, easily, and that allows them to become more knowledgeable. Besides, it is believed by a majority of psychologists that children learn better and faster when they embrace technology; as a result, using computers in school allows students to be taught better and faster. In addition, not only can using computer be effective for learning skills, but also they can enjoy a tremendous impact on saving time and money. Admittedly, conventional teaching methods are extremely time-consuming both for the authorities in charge of education and pupils, while the new methods of teaching like using computers can teach children efficiently than the other methods of teaching. Having said that, in spite of its benefits, using computers in classrooms can have a broad number of detrimental effects on the physical and mental development of children. Firstly, since studying with computer needs to become engaged with computers for a long period, a massive number of students using computers are more likely to become obese. A survey conducted by MIT University revealed that using a computer for a long time might have a negative long-term repercussion on the physical development of children. In addition, it is imperative that children be taught by well-trained tutors because this is through to direct schooling that a wide variety of invaluable contents, such as moral principles, social skills, and leadership skills are given to children. Finally, having enormous harmful effects on children's bodies, computers can have an adverse effect on children's minds. In conclusion, technology has altered many facets of human lives. One of the most important aspects is schooling. Due to industrialization, a huge number of schools are equipped with state-of-the-art computers, and students are taught by computers in schools. Despite its benefits, it has many adverse effects that should not be taken into account as a minor issue.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
society, computers have brought about enormous imminent benefits for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and have played an active role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children's
cognitive and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schooling
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
. Although there are convincing arguments on both sides of this controversial issue, I
profoundly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this assertion discussing computers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schooling
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in schools.

On the one hand, using technology and
in particular
, computers in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
has always been alluring to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
;
moreover
, using them has brought about a huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of merits for them. Using computers,
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
first of all
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
up with the latest information gained from the Internet. In fact, a massive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of pupils studying in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
can access to an ocean of information, the Internet,
easily
, and that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
them to become more knowledgeable.
Besides
, it
is believed
by a majority of psychologists that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
learn better and faster when they embrace technology;
as a result
, using computers in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
students to
be taught
better and faster.
In addition
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
can using computer be effective for learning
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
they can enjoy a tremendous impact on saving time and money.
Admittedly
, conventional teaching methods are
extremely
time-consuming both for the authorities in charge of education and pupils, while the new methods of teaching like using computers can teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
Use "(efficiently)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
efficiently
than the other methods of teaching.

Having said that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
its benefits, using computers in classrooms can have a broad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of detrimental effects on the physical and mental development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Firstly
, since studying with computer needs to become engaged with computers for a long period, a massive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of students using computers are more likely to become obese. A survey conducted by MIT University revealed that using a computer for a long time might have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
long-term repercussion on the physical development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
In addition
, it is imperative that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
be taught
by well-trained tutors
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this is through to direct
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schooling
that a wide variety of invaluable contents, such as moral principles, social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, and leadership
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Finally
, having enormous harmful effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children's
bodies, computers can have an adverse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children's
minds.

In conclusion
, technology has altered
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
facets of human
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. One of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
aspects is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schooling
. Due to industrialization, a huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are equipped
with state-of-the-art computers, and students
are taught
by computers in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
. Despite its benefits, it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
adverse effects that should not
be taken
into account as a minor issue.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Computers are becoming essential part of education. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages and give your opinion v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
427 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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