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Computers are becoming an essential part of education. Discuss Advantages and disadvantages and give your opinion. v.5

Computers are becoming an essential part of education. Discuss Advantages and disadvantages and give your opinion. v. 5
Technology has become an integral part of the economic system in the modern society. One of the most influential digital devices that is important for adolescent to study about new materials. In this essay, I will discuss both of views and give my own opinion. In the first place, there are two of benefits to learn with the laptop. The internet is an astonishing source of the information that we can more access easily than the past. For instant, if he is suffering from finding some words, googling is faster to get the information with a just few mouse clicks away while it takes long time to look up a word with an encyclopedia, therefore it is helpful for not only researching some words, but also writing, we are enabled to access some websites, which check our essay in aspect of grammar, function, coherence an cohesion. Consequently, writing an essay with computer or laptop will be useful to get a high score on their studies. One of the drawbacks is that it can be disturbed the concentrate of children. The internet has a huge amount of knowledge, but at the same time, it has also contained some harmful contents that can damage children physically. Take an example, if they are taking a class with their desktop computer or any digital devices, they can not focus the lecture and want to play games or use social media. According to a study, which has done by two different classes (A group has taken a lecture without desktop computer and the other group has taken a class with their workstation) and they had a short test, the result was not surprising at all. Of course, the number of students in the A group got a low score on academic performance. In conclusion, some people believe that having a lecture with own digital devices can helpful for learning, however, in my opinion, the disadvantages overweigh the advantages.
Technology has become an integral part of the economic system in the modern society. One of the most influential digital devices
that is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for adolescent to study about new materials. In this essay, I will discuss both of views and give my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinion.

In the
first
place, there are two of benefits to learn with the laptop. The internet is an astonishing source of the information that we can more access
easily
than the past. For instant, if he is suffering from finding
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
words, googling is faster to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the information with a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
few mouse clicks away while it takes long time to look up a word with an encyclopedia,
therefore
it is helpful for not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
researching
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
words,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
writing, we
are enabled
to access
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
websites, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
our essay in aspect of grammar, function, coherence
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
cohesion.
Consequently
, writing an essay with computer or laptop will be useful to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a high score on their studies.

One of the drawbacks is that it can
be disturbed
the concentrate of children. The internet has a huge amount of knowledge,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
at the same time, it has
also
contained
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
harmful contents that can damage children
physically
. Take an example, if they are taking a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
with their desktop computer or any digital devices, they can not focus the lecture and want to play games or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
social media. According to a study, which has done by two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
classes (A group has taken a lecture without desktop computer and the other group has taken a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
with their workstation) and they had a short
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
, the result was not surprising at all.
Of course
, the number of students in the A group
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
a low score on academic performance.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that having a lecture with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
digital devices can helpful for learning,
however
, in my opinion, the disadvantages
Possible spelling mistake found.
overweigh
the advantages.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Computers are becoming an essential part of education. Discuss Advantages and disadvantages and give your opinion. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
323 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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