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Computer replace humans? Do you agree or disagree?

Computer replace humans? Do you agree or disagree? 85WnV
It is often argued that artificial intelligence including computer has become human substitute even if it doesn’t appeal to you all. I completely disagree with this opinion that just a misunderstanding. First of all, T reckon that artificial intelligence can work more creative and accurate than homo-sapiens. Even if it have disability of storing the data and information input by it self, it can deal with 1000, 000 millions data in 2 seconds which is shorten the time and man effort. While human beings need to be full focus to organize only one hundred data in one day. To instance, a lot of huge company spend almost of their income in technology such as computer devices, iPads and Microsoft programs and small amount for people salary. That’s why it is better to rely on computer than human beings. Secondly, homo-sapiens is a basic unit in the world. In other words, if there is no humans, it will cause a problem for dependent stuffs which is need other source to be able to do his jobs. To illustrate, machine such as laptops require input factor so it’s could not work unless there is someone give an order. Unlike humans can think and work creatively. Thus, I swage that if there is no man, there is no life.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that artificial intelligence including computer has become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
substitute even if it doesn’t appeal to you all. I completely disagree with this opinion that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a misunderstanding.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, T reckon that artificial intelligence

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
can
work more creative and accurate than homo-sapiens. Even if it
Did you mean "has"?
have
disability of storing the data and information input by
Did you mean "itself"?
it self
, it can deal with 1000, 000 millions data in 2 seconds which is
Consider using a past participle here: "shortened".
shorten
the time and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
effort.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings need to be full focus to organize
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one hundred data in one day. To instance,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
huge
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
spend almost of their income in technology such as computer devices, iPads and Microsoft programs and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
amount for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
salary. That’s why it is better to rely on computer than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings.

Secondly
, homo-sapiens is a basic unit in the world.
In other words
, if there is no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
, it will cause a problem for dependent stuffs which
is need
other source to be able to do his jobs. To illustrate, machine such as laptops require input factor
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it’s could not work unless there is someone give an order. Unlike
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
and work
creatively
.
Thus
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
I swage
that if there is no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
, there is no life.
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IELTS essay Computer replace humans? Do you agree or disagree?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
216 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    One main idea per paragraph
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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