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Computer games are very popular for all ages and nationalities. Parents think this has little educational value and it will be harmful for children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Computer games are very popular for all ages and nationalities. Parents think this has little educational value and it will be harmful for children. YOe5
In this fast moving world technology has increased by leaps and bounds. With increased technology there are lots of advancement in computer games which are widely popular amongst the teenagers. Some people opine that it has some value and teaches skills while others argue that it has negative impact on child’s growth. I disagree that it has harmful effect in teenager’s upbringing which I will discuss in the following paragraphs. To commence with, computer games have evolved to a new level in this era of artificial intelligence and technology. Certain games require lot of focus and quick decision skill to play and the consequences of that game will be that children’s cognitive function will improve. There are tons of games in which they have to play in a group therefore it also increases their communication skills as well as their group bonding. Most of the computer games require hand eye coordination which can help develop their mental strength. In some game’s players have to outsmart the artificial intelligence to win therefore depending on the age of the gamer and the game it is very likely there are legitimate cognitive gains. Also In the recent years online gaming has emerged as a new sports which can give lots of opportunities to teenagers to earn. Lots of new teams are getting formed around the world for international gaming contests. On the contrary, to cope with their friends or enemy’s score teenagers play games for extensive hours which causes harm to their physical as well as mental health. Mobile phones and computers are leading causes for sedentary lifestyle in teenagers and as a consequences it leads to obesity which is the major health problem. Playing games is the least active mode of entertainment. It would be more beneficial to them to learn different skills, playing outdoor games, spending quality time with family. Agglomerating all the points elaborated above I disagree that Computer games are harmful for children’s. It has lots of pros compared to cons but to reduce its over usage it should be played under their parents’ supervision until they are adults.
In this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
moving world technology has increased by leaps and bounds. With increased technology there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lots
of advancement in computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
which are
widely
popular amongst the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
opine that it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
value and teaches
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
while others argue that it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on child’s growth. I disagree that it has harmful effect in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenager’s
upbringing which I will discuss in the following paragraphs.

To commence with, computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
have evolved to a new level in this era of artificial intelligence and technology. Certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
require
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
focus and quick decision
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
to play and the consequences of that game will be that children’s cognitive function will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
. There are tons of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
in which they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
play in a group
therefore
it
also
increases their communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
as well
as their group bonding. Most of the computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
require hand eye coordination which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
develop their mental strength. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
game’s players
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
outsmart the artificial intelligence to win
therefore
depending on the age of the gamer and the game it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
likely there are legitimate cognitive gains.
Also
In the recent years online gaming has emerged as a new
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "sport"?
sports
which can give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lots
of opportunities to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
to earn.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Lots
of new teams are getting formed around the world for international gaming contests.

On the contrary
, to cope with their friends or enemy’s score
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
for extensive hours which causes harm to their physical
as well
as mental health. Mobile phones and computers are leading causes for sedentary lifestyle in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
and as
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a consequence" or simply "consequences"?
a consequences
it leads to obesity which is the major health problem. Playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
is the least active mode of entertainment. It would be more beneficial to them to learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, playing outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, spending quality time with family.

Agglomerating all the points elaborated above I disagree that Computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are harmful for children’s. It has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lots
of pros compared to cons
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
its over usage it should
be played
under their parents’ supervision until they are adults.
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IELTS essay Computer games are very popular for all ages and nationalities. Parents think this has little educational value and it will be harmful for children.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
350 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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