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Computer games are becoming popular day by day.

Computer games are becoming popular day by day. 06NrO
Computer games are becoming popular day by day. Personally, I believe that parents shouldn't give permission to their children to play video games. I feel this way for three reasons, which I will explore in the following essay. To begin with, watching computer screen for a very long time is very harmful for eyes. If a child plays computer games for a long time, then he has to watch screen for a long time. As a result, This will cause serious eye problems. My personal experience is a compelling example of this. In childhood, I spent much time by playing computer games. For this reason, I had to suffer with my eyes. Furthermore, children have to waste much money for computer games. Generally, computer games are very costly to buy. In addition, money is also needed for unlocking various features of a computer game. Thus, children give mental pressure to parents for the money. For example, my little brother plays various computer games. Therefore, he needs a large amount to buy those games and to unlock features of the game. Thus, he mentally torture my parents to give the needed money. Finally, computer games are very unproductive. There is nothing to learn from it and it is just time a wasting thing and children waste a large amount of time for pc games. If they did not play computer games, they could spend that time on some productive things. In conclusion, my opinion is parents should prohibit their children from playing computer games. This is because computer games are unproductive, money wasting and injurious to eyes.
Computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are becoming popular day by day.
Personally
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
shouldn't give permission to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. I feel this way for three reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, watching computer screen for a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
harmful for eyes. If a child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plays
computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
for a long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, then he
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
screen for a long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
As a result
, This will cause serious eye problems. My personal experience is a compelling example of this. In childhood, I spent much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
by playing computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
For this reason
, I had to suffer with my eyes.

Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
waste much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
Generally
, computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
costly to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is
also
needed for unlocking various features of a computer game.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
give mental pressure to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
For example
, my
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
brother
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plays
various computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
Therefore
, he needs a large amount to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and to unlock features of the game.
Thus
, he mentally
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "tortures", "tortured".
torture
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to give the needed money.

Finally
, computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
unproductive. There is nothing to learn from it and it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
a wasting thing and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
waste a large amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for
Possible spelling mistake found.
pc
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. If they did not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, they could spend that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
productive things.

In conclusion
, my opinion is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should prohibit their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from playing computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are unproductive,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
wasting and injurious to eyes.
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IELTS essay Computer games are becoming popular day by day.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
266 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Meet the criteria
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