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Computer games and the internet have negative impact on young people.

Computer games and the internet have negative impact on young people. p5aEa
Perhaps the idea of playing games on computer and surfing on the social network have become a widespread one in recent decades, with many individuals holding different beliefs on it. This essay will discuss the positive a negative impacts of these step by step. Firstly, it is widely maintained that playing computer games help to develop children’s cognitive skills. Some of computer games involve abstract tasks and put in solving the problem cognitively. For instance, children try to find the solution to the problem in the game in order to win among the other opponents. Moreover, modern technology is created for many opportunities to people such as playing games on the internet. One have a friend who lives in foreign country, they can play chess by online. Furthermore, children need not play games with friends in a bad weather at outside beneficially. Secondly, opponents of going astray playing computer games argue that the main disadvantage of games is related to the violence. While it is true to say that children are addicted to combat each other as a result of playing bloody games in computer. For example, many games involve children helping their character being aggressive. Consequently, this may lead to bring some violent social behaviours. All things considered it can be concluded that not only there are benefits of computer games but also there are disadvantage too.
Perhaps the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
on computer and surfing on the social network have become a widespread one in recent decades, with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals holding
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
beliefs on it. This essay will discuss the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts of
Did you mean "this step" or "these steps"?
these step
by step.

Firstly
, it is
widely
maintained that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to develop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
cognitive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
Consider using "Some computer" or "Some of the computer".
Some of computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
involve abstract tasks and put in solving the problem
cognitively
.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
try to find the solution to the problem in the game in order to win among the other opponents.
Moreover
, modern technology
is created
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
opportunities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
on the internet. One have a friend who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in foreign country, they can play chess by online.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
need not play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
with friends in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
weather at outside
beneficially
.

Secondly
, opponents of going astray
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
argue that the main disadvantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
is related
to the violence. While it is true to say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are addicted
to combat each other
as a result
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
bloody
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
in computer.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
involve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
helping their character being aggressive.
Consequently
, this may lead to bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
violent social
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
.

All things considered it can
be concluded
that not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
there are benefits of computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
there are disadvantage too.
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IELTS essay Computer games and the internet have negative impact on young people.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
228 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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