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Computer-based technology

Computer-based technology Pg3lE
Write about the following topic: 1)We are becoming increasingly dependent on computer-based technology. 2)How do you think it will change in the future? 3)Is it good for us to rely so much on computers? By the year 2011 and 2021 technology became a must for all different life requirements, It increased almost 70% in the last five years, Computer and networking is basically the foundation of the major rising of technical revolution. The world of technology has a huge impact in our lives it made everything easier nowadays you can do most of the work online such as bank services, immigrations etc…Now you can open a bank account, pay and buy things using the internet only, I assume that computers will take over in the next 10years networkers have been developing how the computers system work in result everything will be used by computers in the future for example Artificial Intelligence regardless of the outcomes. Unemployment has risen dramatically since the beginning of techno world and it will be even more in the future relying on computers, internet, other sources is a bad influence on us in many ways it causes health problems for younger and elders too, another reason is social life most of the people are avoiding any social meetings since the internet can do it all, and unemployment because of the specific requirements for employees also the need of speciality in computers degree. In conclusion even with the evolution and growing I believe that’s not only it can’t satisfy all of our needs but it is keeping us a step back from the things we have or want to do just because computers can do it easy and better for us.
Write about the following topic:

1)We are becoming
increasingly
dependent on computer-based technology.

2)How do you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the future?

3)Is it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for us to rely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much on computers?

By the year 2011 and 2021 technology became a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
for all
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
life requirements, It increased almost 70% in the last five years, Computer and networking is
basically
the foundation of the major rising of technical revolution.

The world of technology has a huge impact in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
it made everything easier nowadays you can do most of the work online such as bank services,
Possible spelling mistake found.
immigrations
etc…
Add a space between sentences
Now
you can open a bank account, pay and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
things using the internet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
, I assume that computers will take over in the
next
10years
Possible spelling mistake found.
networkers
have been developing how the
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "computers'" or "computer's"?
computers
system work in result everything will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by computers in the future
for example
Artificial Intelligence regardless of the outcomes.

Unemployment has risen
dramatically
since the beginning of techno world and it will be even more in the future relying on computers, internet, other sources is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
influence on us in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways it causes health problems for younger and elders too, another reason is social life most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are avoiding any social meetings since the internet can do it all, and unemployment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the specific requirements for employees
also
the need of
Possible spelling mistake. 'speciality' is British English.
speciality
in computers degree.

In conclusion
even with the evolution and growing I believe that’s not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
it can’t satisfy all of our needs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is keeping us a step back from the things we have or want to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
computers can do it easy and better for us.
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IELTS essay Computer-based technology

Essay
  American English
8 paragraphs
284 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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