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completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. on the other hand other people think that getting experiences and developing soft skills is more important . Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. on the other hand other people think that getting experiences and developing soft skills is more important. EXY3
Although it is believed by some that being a college graduate is the key to securing a better job while others opine that possessing a good interpersonal skill and experience is necessary to obtain work. In my opinion, I consider that higher education enhances the chances of professionally settling down easily due to having a more proficient and detailed insight into subjects. On the one hand, the predominant reason people claim that it is more essential for a placement to have a college degree and I agree is that having a tertiary education can put a person ahead of any other individual in the era of extreme competition. In other words, as along with the strong foundation of academic education, many universities also organise workshops and training placements as a result after finishing their degree not only they have academic knowledge but also a certain amount of experience while training. For example, for a doctor, lawyer and engineer, one must have a university or college degree to practice in their fields. Thereby, pupils can feasibly attain jobs in the designated areas of their profession as they have both bookish and practical knowledge. On the other hand, others think that certain skills such as experience, communication and teamwork are considered more beneficial. Practising these skills can make an individual more confident and know-how to handle work-related tasks more conveniently. In this context, a well-experienced individual can easily comprehend the issues, can act as a good leader and bring significant knowledge from a long worked experience. For instance, a salesperson having experience of many years will be aware of all tactics which a successful company requires. Therefore, for a thriving company, they need someone who has all these qualities. In conclusion, whilst many people vary in their opinion, I think that people with graduation degree are able to succeed in the long run owing to their bookish knowledge and on-campus training.
Although it
is believed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that being a college graduate is the key to securing a better job while others opine that possessing a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
interpersonal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
is necessary to obtain work. In my opinion, I consider that higher education enhances the chances of
professionally
settling down
easily
due to having a more proficient and detailed insight into subjects.

On the one hand, the predominant reason
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
claim that it is more essential for a placement to have a college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
is that having a tertiary education can put a person ahead of any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
individual in the era of extreme competition. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, as along with the strong foundation of academic education,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
universities
also
Possible spelling mistake. 'organise' is British English.
organise
workshops and training placements
as a result
after finishing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
they have academic knowledge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
a certain amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
while training.
For example
, for a doctor, lawyer and engineer, one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have a university or college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
to practice in their fields. Thereby, pupils can
feasibly
attain jobs in the designated areas of their profession as they have both bookish and practical knowledge.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that certain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
, communication and teamwork
are considered
more beneficial.
Possible spelling mistake. 'Practising' is British English.
Practising
these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an individual more confident and know-how to handle work-related tasks more
conveniently
. In this context, a well-experienced individual can
easily
comprehend the issues, can act as a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
leader and bring significant knowledge from a long worked
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
.
For instance
, a salesperson having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years will be aware of all tactics which a successful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
requires.
Therefore
, for a thriving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
, they need someone who has all these qualities.

In conclusion
, whilst
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
vary in their opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with graduation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
are able to succeed in the long run owing to their bookish knowledge and on-campus training.

IELTS essay completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. on the other hand other people think that getting experiences and developing soft skills is more important.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
319 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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