Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Competitiveness is considered a positive quality among people. Do you agree with this statement? Write an essay of 200-250 words to state your viewpoint. v.1

Competitiveness is considered a positive quality among people. Write an essay of 200-250 words to state your viewpoint. v. 1
Humans being born with competition in their blood. Some people consider it a good thing, while others say the opposite. Although I do think that rivalry is a good thing and necessary in fact, I still think that some of its downsides can’t be overlooked. It’s clear that competitiveness in everyday life would bring about several advantages. One evident strength is that it would create motivations for people to exceed their limits and reach great achievements. Many workers and ordinary people that have performed and achieved astonishingly in their fields, have competition at one of their most powerful motivations. Another reason is that it would help many people to improve themselves in many aspects. Many students, who used to perform very badly, thanks to their competitiveness have exerted themselves and become better in class and also become more organized people. Not only to individuals, competition can actually benefit the whole community. With students improving themselves to surpass others, the performances of many schools have risen up and some become the schools with great education qualities. Many companies that have workers who also compete each others to become the ones with best performances also get greater income and achievements. On the other hand, there are some obvious disadvantages that would arise from tournament among people. First, rivalry can sometimes create relationship barriers between the people involves in it. Those students with the highest performances in class, to keep in those positions, may prioritise championship over cooperating with others. This may destroy the friendly atmosphere among them, which can severely damage the relationships between them and their peers and affect the whole class performance. Second, unhealthy competitions can seriously damage peoples' morale. Some people, by having excessive need to be the best have ignored their morality and do many immoral actions. Those actions do not only affect their competitors, but also their own conscience and reputation. Finally, the struggles of competition sometimes can actually stress the concerned individuals. Wanting to reach to the top, many people have worked very hard, have their stress level increased drastically. Sometimes, those needs have forced them to ignore their own health, which is much more important than those positions. To draw a conclusion, whether competitiveness is a good or a bad quality among individuals depends heavily on how it is used. A person should always have competitiveness existed inside them to create motivations for them to become better people and achieve what they have been dreaming of. At the same time, he or she should never just prioritise the rewards over their relationships and morality, which are among the most important traits of any human being.
Humans
being born
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
in their blood.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consider it a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
thing, while others say the opposite. Although I do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that rivalry is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
thing and necessary in fact, I
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of its downsides can’t
be overlooked
.

It’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that competitiveness in everyday life would bring about several advantages. One evident strength is that it would create motivations for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to exceed their limits and reach great achievements.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
workers and ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that have performed and achieved
astonishingly
in their fields, have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
at one of their most powerful motivations. Another reason is that it would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
themselves in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspects.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
students, who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to perform
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
badly
,
You should probably use "thank".
thanks
to their competitiveness have exerted themselves and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
better in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
and
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
more organized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to individuals,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
can actually benefit the whole community. With students improving themselves to surpass others, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
performances
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
schools have risen up and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
the schools with great education qualities.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
that have workers who
also
compete each
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "other"?
others
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
the ones
A determiner is probably missing here: "with the best".
with best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
performances
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
greater income and achievements.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
obvious disadvantages that would arise from tournament among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
First
, rivalry can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
create relationship barriers between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
involves
in it. Those students with the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
performances
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in those positions, may
Possible spelling mistake. 'prioritise' is British English.
prioritise
championship over cooperating with others. This may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
the friendly atmosphere among them, which can
severely
damage the relationships between them and their peers and affect the whole
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
performance
. Second, unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competitions
can
seriously
damage peoples' morale.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, by having excessive need to be the best have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
their morality and do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
immoral actions. Those actions do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
affect their competitors,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
conscience and reputation.
Finally
, the struggles of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
can actually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
the concerned individuals. Wanting to reach to the top,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have worked
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
, have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
level increased
drastically
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
, those needs have forced them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
health, which is much more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than those positions.

To draw a conclusion, whether competitiveness is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
or a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
quality among individuals depends
heavily
on how it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
. A person should always have competitiveness existed inside them to create motivations for them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and achieve what they have been dreaming of. At the same time, he or she should never
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
Possible spelling mistake. 'prioritise' is British English.
prioritise
the rewards over their relationships and morality, which are among the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
traits of any human being.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Competitiveness is considered a positive quality among people. Write an essay of 200-250 words to state your viewpoint. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
440 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts