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Competitive sports can be taken good career.do you agree or disagree?

Competitive sports can be taken good career. ljGdb
For career perspective it is difficult for individuals that which stream is the best to ensure the future. Competition related sport games are prominent, and it is not a bad option to choose it as an ambition. Therefore, in my inclination I firmly agree with this given statement for few reasons, my support will be discussed in the forthcoming paragraphs. Discussing my favour towards the competitive games. First and foremost, it is in the vogue. With referring to the modern world, every place of the world watch sport games, and especially competition types like football, swimming, basketball, hockey, and racing, so as per the Hindus report if a person choose those games as a career part, so he would get higher chance of getting success than other fields. As as an example, Cristiano Ronaldo had an option to consider engineering as goal, however, he selected football as a worthy dream his family were not supporting, today he embraced the greatest success. Moreover, better chances in terms of income. Furthermore, nowadays higher authority also provide support who showed interest in the competitive games. According to the sports fraternity, in India Narendra Modi BJP have been supporting to those who really want to accomplish their goals in difficult sport games, thus provide every sort of utilities as well as monetary aid. As an illustration, although the scenario with regard to help from higher commission was quite less, currently every nation who is at the greatest position because of these terms of activities they do, so that is why it a good option. Besides this, it gives big name, fame and stardom which never gets from working in a Shop or doing any other types of general work. To conclude, it can be said that since we enter the modern era people view towards the competitive has got a revolution, by participating in tough games a sport person should get monetary support, huge publicity, government support and so many other benefits will obtain constantly.
For career perspective it is difficult for individuals that which stream is the best to ensure the future. Competition related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are prominent, and it is not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
option to choose it as an ambition.
Therefore
, in my inclination I
firmly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement for few reasons, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
will
be discussed
in the forthcoming paragraphs.

Discussing my
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
towards the competitive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
First
and foremost, it is in the vogue. With referring to the modern world, every place of the world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, and
especially
competition types like football, swimming, basketball, hockey, and racing,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
as per the Hindus report if a person choose those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
as a career part,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
he would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
higher chance of getting success than other fields.
Possible typo: you repeated a word
As as
an example, Cristiano Ronaldo had an option to consider engineering as goal,
however
, he selected football as a worthy dream his family were not supporting,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
he embraced the greatest success.
Moreover
, better chances in terms of income.

Furthermore
, nowadays higher authority
also
provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
interest in the competitive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. According to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
fraternity, in India Narendra
Possible spelling mistake found.
Modi
BJP have been supporting to those who
really
want to accomplish their goals in difficult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
,
thus
provide every sort of utilities
as well
as monetary aid. As an illustration, although the scenario with regard to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
from higher commission was quite less,
currently
every nation who is at the greatest position
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of these terms of activities they do,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that is
why
Did you mean "is" or "it is"?
it
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
option.
Besides
this, it gives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
name, fame and stardom which never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
from working in a Shop or doing any other types of general work.

To conclude
, it can
be said
that since we enter the modern era
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
view towards the competitive has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
a revolution, by participating in tough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
person should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
monetary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
, huge publicity,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other benefits will obtain
constantly
.
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IELTS essay Competitive sports can be taken good career.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
331 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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