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About the effectiveness of advertising

About the effectiveness of advertising 3ayWn
I agree with the former opinion. The reason is that I am often influenced by advertising myself. Recently, a lot of advertisements have been posted on SNS such as instagram and Twitter, and video sites such as Youtube, and each advertisement is very devised to make consumers buy products. As a result, I often find the product very good and often search for it. Of course, I can understand the latter opinion that advertisements are so many and common these days, but I think that the reason why there are so many advertisements is that it has a great influence on us and is a proof that it is effective.
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the former opinion. The reason is that I am
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
influenced by advertising myself. Recently,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
have
been posted
on SNS such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
instagram
and Twitter, and video sites such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
Youtube
, and each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
devised to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
consumers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
products.
As a result
, I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
find the product
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
search for it.
Of course
, I can understand the latter opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
and common these days,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the reason why there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
is that it has a great influence on us and is a proof that it is effective.
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IELTS essay About the effectiveness of advertising

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
110 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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