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Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Competition among friends usually has a negative effect on friendship.

Competition among friends usually has a negative effect on friendship. 1mKoq
Undeniably, friendship is an immense asset for every person, and all people tend to keep their intimate friends and close relationship with them. In this line of thought, when it comes to contemplating the effect of competition among friends, I think every little rivalry between two friends has a detrimental impact on their relationship. There are many reasons, two of which I will explore in the following paragraphs. To begin with, competition amongst friends sows the seeds of lying which has a deleterious toll on their relationship. To be more specific, on the one hand, every long-lasting relationship should be based on some crucial elements, and without a shadow of a doubt, truth is the most important element to have a good relationship. On the other hand, being in a competition, friends start to lie to each other in order to dissuade the other one from doing any activity to keep up with their rival. As a result, after a while by repeating such lies integrity and truthfulness will disappear, and friendship gets hurt. For instance, when I was in high school, one of my intimate friends had a competition with me to reach a higher GPA. I remembered that she told me a lie, asserting that our exam is much easier than we thought, according to our teacher, so I postponed my assignments to the last night before the exam, and I could not get a good score. After revealing her lie, I broke up with her. To add, being a loser in competition would provoke a sense of hostility affecting the friendship negatively. To put it in other words, every rivalry from the biggest ones, Olympic games, to the smallest one, competition between friends, always has a winner and a loser. People rarely embrace failure, and they inherently tend to be the winner. Consequently, ending the competition, the loser one has a feeling of resentment and develops hatred toward the winner person. Needless to say, such a feeling definitely harms the relationship among friends, because friendship is always full of pleasant senses. For example, my brother has no longer one of his best friends, because after my brother got a promotion in their workplace, his friend could not bear such a success. As result, implying inappropriate behavior and hearing jealousy words from him, my brother broke up with him.
Undeniably
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friendship
is an immense asset for every person, and all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their intimate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
and close
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
with them. In this line of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
, when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to contemplating the effect of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
every
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
rivalry between two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
has a detrimental impact on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons, two of which I will explore in the following paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
Do not mix variants of the same word ('amongst' and 'among') within a single text.
amongst
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
sows the seeds of lying which has a deleterious toll on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
. To be more specific, on the one hand, every long-lasting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
should
be based
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
crucial elements, and without a shadow of a doubt, truth is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
element to have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, being in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to lie to each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
in order to dissuade the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
one from doing any activity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
up with their rival.
As a result
, after a while by repeating such lies integrity and truthfulness will disappear, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friendship
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
hurt.
For instance
, when I was in high school, one of my intimate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
had a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
with me to reach a higher GPA. I remembered that she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
me a lie, asserting that our exam is much easier than we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
, according to our teacher,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I postponed my assignments to the last night
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the exam, and I could not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
score. After revealing her lie, I broke up with her.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
, being a loser in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
would provoke a sense of hostility affecting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friendship
negatively
. To put it in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, every rivalry from the biggest ones,
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
Olympic games
, to the smallest one,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
, always has a winner and a loser.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
rarely embrace failure, and they
inherently
tend to be the winner.
Consequently
, ending the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
, the loser one has a feeling of resentment and develops hatred toward the winner person. Needless to say, such a feeling definitely harms the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friendship
is always full of pleasant senses.
For example
, my brother has no longer one of his best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
after my brother
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
a promotion in their workplace, his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
could not bear such a success. As result, implying inappropriate behavior and hearing jealousy words from him, my brother broke up with him.
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IELTS essay Competition among friends usually has a negative effect on friendship.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
391 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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