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Comparison between domestic news and international news

Comparison between domestic news and international news paD33
Recently, there has been a controversy between some people who are in favour of domestic news and those who prefer international news. Although these both opinions are based on reasonable basic, I take the view that people should pay more attention to information in their country. On one hand, news around the world are beneficial to some extent. In particular, in our daily life, we are provided with a various number of information ranging from environment to health, thereby, we are aware of what are hot issues and prepare ourselves for dealing with their impacts. For example, news concerning environmental pollution, climate change, global warming…tend to raise our awareness and enhance our responsibility as a global citizen. The Covid situation in many parts of the world keep us informed about a serious pandemic from which we have to learn how to stay ourselves away. On the other hand, I personally believe that national news should take priority over the world news. Keeping up with outstanding events within the country is not only a right but also a responsibility of every citizen. As being a part of the society where we are living, we need to be well informed about the domestic politics, economy and labour market. This equips us with essential information for our better life. For instance, news about (regarding, concerning, related to) labour market gives us more opportunities to apply for our potential jobs. In conclusion, being exposed to either international news or national news is advantageous. However, it is what happen in our country every day that we need to focus on.
Recently, there has been a controversy between
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of domestic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
and those who prefer international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
. Although these both opinions
are based
on reasonable basic, I take the view that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should pay more attention to information in their country.

On one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
around the world are beneficial to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent.
In particular
, in our daily life, we
are provided
with a various number of information ranging from environment to health, thereby, we are aware of what are hot issues and prepare ourselves for dealing with their impacts.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
concerning environmental pollution, climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
, global warming…tend to raise our awareness and enhance our responsibility as a global citizen. The
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
Covid
situation in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parts of the world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
us informed about a serious pandemic from which we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
learn how to stay ourselves away.

On the other hand
, I
personally
believe that national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
should take priority over the world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
. Keeping up with outstanding
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
within the country is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a right
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
a responsibility of every citizen. As being a part of the society where we are living, we need to be
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well informed
about the domestic politics, economy and
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
market. This equips us with essential information for our better life.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
about (regarding, concerning, related to)
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
market gives us more opportunities to apply for our potential jobs.

In conclusion
,
being exposed
to either international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
or national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
is advantageous.
However
, it is what happen in our country every day that we need to focus on.
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IELTS essay Comparison between domestic news and international news

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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