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How do you think this incident can affect our marine organisms as well as humans?

How do you think this incident can affect our marine organisms as well as humans? paDla
This Khia Sea was not the first and last event on the dumping of hazardous waste into the sea, and it is not a surprise that these can bring negative effects on the marine organisms and to humans themselves. These incidents destroy marine life, and break their habitats, ruins the ecosystem, and diminishes biodiversity. Additionally, this may bring long-term health effects on humans, it may also kill any type of marine life. Furthermore, these may be incorporated into our food chain and contaminate the water drinking quantities. Despite it being a universal problem, each country has its share of wastes, but we could see the lack of management and responsibility of humans when it comes to the disposal of their trash. Through these, we can see a clear disdain for human and marine life and the environment as well. If we do not take action to proper waste management, it can put trivial obstacles towards our prosperity and harm any living organism that stands on this earth.
This
Possible spelling mistake found.
Khia
Sea was not the
first
and last
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
on the dumping of hazardous waste into the sea, and it is not a surprise that these can bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marine
organisms and to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
themselves. These incidents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marine
life, and break their habitats, ruins the ecosystem, and diminishes biodiversity.
Additionally
, this may bring long-term health effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
, it may
also
kill any type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marine
life.
Furthermore
, these may
be incorporated
into our food chain and contaminate the water drinking quantities. Despite it being a universal problem, each country has its share of wastes,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the lack of management and responsibility of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to the disposal of their trash. Through these, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
disdain for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marine
life and the environment
as well
. If we do not take action to proper waste management, it can put trivial obstacles towards our prosperity and harm any living organism that stands on this earth.
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IELTS essay How do you think this incident can affect our marine organisms as well as humans?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
167 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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