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Comparing two pictures before and after some changes

Comparing two pictures before and after some changes gbam7
The maps illustrate the changes which have taken place after constructing some facilities for tourists. The island has developed dramatically in the second map, despite the fact that it used to be almost useless. For example, many accommodations have been built in the center and also west of this island. Furthermore, a restaurant and a reception have been constructed in the residential area and all of them are connected by some footpaths and vehicle tracks which had been built. Beside the changes related to the buildings, there are some differences in usage of the sea as the port and also the boats which are floating. There’s also a swimming area next to the beach in the west of the island. However, the date palms in these two maps haven’t had any special changes and the island is still a mainland and hasn’t been separated. Overall, the maps are designed in order to provide some information about the significant changes of this island.
The
maps
illustrate the
changes
which have taken place after constructing
some
facilities for tourists.

The
island
has developed
dramatically
in the second
map
, despite the fact that it
used
to be almost useless.
For example
,
many
accommodations have
been built
in the center and
also
west of this
island
.
Furthermore
, a restaurant and a reception have
been constructed
in the residential area and all of them
are connected
by
some
footpaths and vehicle
tracks
which had
been built
. Beside the
changes
related to the buildings, there are
some
differences in usage of the sea as the port and
also
the boats which are floating. There’s
also
a swimming area
next
to the beach in the west of the island.

However
, the date palms in these two
maps
haven’t had any special
changes
and the
island
is
still
a mainland and hasn’t
been separated
.

Overall
, the
maps
are designed
in order to provide
some
information about the significant
changes
of this
island
.
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IELTS essay Comparing two pictures before and after some changes

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
162 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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