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Compare the benefits of planning free-time activities with the benefits of not making plans. Which do you prefer – planning or not planning for your leisure time?

Compare the benefits of planning free-time activities with the benefits of not making plans. Which do you prefer – planning or not planning for your leisure time? RR7Mp
It is not an exaggeration that planning plays an important role in achieving the goals. It always draws us to what is happening in advance. Some people would prefer to plan their free-time activities but others assert that planning is not necessary. I obviously agree with the former statement but, I prefer planning free-time activities. I am going to discuss planning free-time activities first: there are three aspects that I actually focus on are reaching the goal, using effectively free time and getting good preparation before doing some free-time activities. The goal is the most important we always think about when doing something. It is the ruler for showing that we use time effectively. For example, when we are on a holiday we may want to visit a museum or an amusement park. However, these facilities do not open in our time and hence we ought to seek some other places to replace them. It may take us a long time to fill that gap of time due to traffic jams or wrong roads. Some planning is broken down and we may not prepare several helpful pieces of stuffs for those changed activities. Therefore, planning is necessary. Besides, I going to discuss not planning free-time activities. There are not several sherds of evidences suggesting that not planning also has some advantages. People who deem planned activities to be inefficient methods of spending time are in fact adventurous in nature. They take life as it comes, and allow their circumstances to decide their next move. For example, while going to the beach, if they discover an exotic park on the way, immediately they could change their decision and turn to the park. Being unplanned gives them the autonomy to two-shift between activities. In my profound opinion, well defined time for leisure has a significant influence on the quality of life families live thereby forming deep bonds of friendships and love. We are in the useful minutes of life. While planned outings may be necessary for some people by the virtue of their personalities, for some it is quite the opposite.
It is not an exaggeration that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planning
plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in achieving the goals. It always draws us to what is happening in advance.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would prefer to plan their free-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
others assert that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planning
is not necessary. I
obviously
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the former statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, I prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planning
free-time activities.

I am going to discuss
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planning
free-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
first
: there are three aspects that I actually focus on are reaching the goal, using
effectively
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and getting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
preparation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
free-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
. The goal is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
we always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about when doing something. It is the ruler for showing that we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
effectively
.
For example
, when we are on a holiday we may want to visit a museum or an amusement park.
However
, these facilities do not open in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and
hence
we ought to seek
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other places to replace them. It may take us a long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
The usual prepositions to use after "fill" is 'with' not "that" Did you mean "fill that gap with"?
fill that gap of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
due to traffic jams or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
roads.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planning
is broken
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
down and
we may not prepare several helpful pieces of stuffs for those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planning
is necessary.

Besides
,
Did you mean "I'm going", "I am going", or "I was going"?
I going
to discuss not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planning
free-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
. There are not several
Possible spelling mistake found.
sherds
of evidences suggesting that not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planning
also
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
who deem planned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
to be inefficient methods of spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
are in fact adventurous in nature. They take life as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
their circumstances to decide their
next
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
.
For example
, while going to the beach, if they discover an exotic park on the way, immediately they could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their decision and turn to the park.
Being unplanned
gives them the autonomy to two-shift between activities.

In my profound opinion,
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well defined
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for leisure has a significant influence on the quality of life families
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
thereby forming deep bonds of friendships and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
. We are in the useful minutes of life. While planned outings may be necessary for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
by the virtue of their personalities, for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
it is quite the opposite.
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IELTS essay Compare the benefits of planning free-time activities with the benefits of not making plans. Which do you prefer – planning or not planning for your leisure time?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
349 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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