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:Nowadays, the organization have extremely high competition in the market. Consequently, companies suggested target to their employees to work as soon as possible. The problem is that employees do not give count for their own health.

: Nowadays, the organization have extremely high competition in the market. Consequently, companies suggested target to their employees to work as soon as possible. The problem is that employees do not give count for their own health. 73oAb
Nowadays, the organization have extremely high competition in the market. Consequently, companies suggested target to their employees to work as soon as possible. The problem is that employees do not give count for their own health. Though the work conditions and the process level become immensely high and at some point it’s difficult. Employees have no enough schedule themselves to get relaxation and give time for health and fitness. The mobile and gaming also other reason which people not doing further activities. The most essential factor is body relaxation and ought to take daily exercise and gym. Due to continuously working body will be affected and stuck in one side. People do not take it serious that, in a day; one time exercise is abundance for themselves and balance diet is more appropriate. a number of ways of doing exercise for instance walking, playing sports, running, etc are without machinery and easy to become recycled in daily routine. Moreover, interest to having gym and spent time feeling relax to used various machines. Few days ago, was going to park and met some people, they share their experiences having tired because of working constantly and have no task for their health, feeling lazy and sick. So its most essential to take care of health with certain activities and get workout for physical fitness especially. Do encourage yourself to involve in physical trainings and exertions that automatically solve the problem and change the lifestyle.
Nowadays, the organization have
extremely
high competition in the market.
Consequently
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
suggested target to their employees to work as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible. The problem is that employees do not give count for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
health.

Though the work conditions and the process level become
immensely
high and at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
point it’s difficult. Employees have no
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
schedule themselves to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
relaxation and give time for health and fitness. The mobile and gaming
also
other reason which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
not doing
further
activities. The most essential factor is body relaxation and ought to take daily exercise and gym. Due to
continuously
working body will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
and stuck in one side.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
do not take it serious that, in a day; one time exercise is abundance for themselves and balance diet is more appropriate.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
a
number of ways of doing exercise
for instance
walking, playing sports, running, etc are without machinery and easy to become recycled in daily routine.
Moreover
, interest to having gym and spent time feeling relax to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
various machines.

Few days ago, was going to park and met
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, they share their experiences having tired
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of working
constantly
and have no task for their health, feeling lazy and sick.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
its most essential to take care of health with certain activities and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
workout for physical fitness
especially
. Do encourage yourself to involve in physical trainings and exertions that
automatically
solve the problem and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the lifestyle.
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IELTS essay : Nowadays, the organization have extremely high competition in the market. Consequently, companies suggested target to their employees to work as soon as possible. The problem is that employees do not give count for their own health.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
242 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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