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compare and contrast the number of local students and overseas students

compare and contrast the number of local students and overseas students pA7a
In Australia, local students were higher than overseas students. First, the commencing was up each year, the most highest is 40, 000 students in 2009, but in 2009 it is stop and stay, not move in 2010. The local students was different, it is up and down not normal each year. In 2001, it was up more than 200, 000 but in 2002, it down to 2006 and stop at 190, 000. In 2006, it is up and very fast in 2008 at 210, 000, but in 2008 is down to 2010 and stop right there at 200, 000. The total of overseas students was high and up very quickly from 2001 to 2010 and don’t stop at all. The total of overseas students was ren faster than the total of local students. The total of overseas students was run touching at 400, 000 going up to 600, 000 and 3 year 2008, 2009, 2010 don’t move any more, it’s just stand right there. But have a different in the number, the local students was slowly but they were going to the 1, 000, 000 and the overseas students was fast but they were going to the 10, 000.
In Australia,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
were higher than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
First
, the commencing was up each year, the
Use only "highest" (without 'most') when you use the superlative.
most highest
is 40, 000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in 2009,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in 2009 it is
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stop
and stay, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
in 2010. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
, it is up and down not normal each year. In 2001, it was up more than 200, 000
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in 2002, it down to 2006 and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stop
at 190, 000. In 2006, it is up and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
in 2008 at 210, 000,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in 2008 is down to 2010 and
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stop
right there at 200, 000. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
total
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
was high and up
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
quickly
from 2001 to 2010 and don’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stop
at all. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
total
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
was
Possible spelling mistake found.
ren
faster than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
total
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
total
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
was run
touching at 400, 000 going up to 600, 000 and

3 year 2008, 2009, 2010 don’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
Did you mean the adverb "anymore"?
any more
, it’s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
stand right there.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
in the number, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
was
slowly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they were going to the 1, 000, 000 and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they were going to the 10, 000.
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IELTS essay compare and contrast the number of local students and overseas students

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
199 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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