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Compare and contrast our personality

Compare and contrast our personality Bg9Ja
What’s my personality? I always wondered that what my personality is and the ways how other people see me. However, a few days ago, I have learned about personality in EAL class, and they say that our personality can be influenced by our family, our friends, our environment, or our birth order. Then I asked my friends to told me something about the personality I was. After I asked my friend, I just was really surprised because their point of view is the same 90% as what I think about myself. Let’s talk about the birth order first. So, in my family, I am the oldest child, some people said the oldest child is described as confident or organized. But I’m kind of shy when standing in front of everyone; I’m not organized at all because I only do something when I’m motivated, and I rarely follow the plan I have made before. I am determined to get something I want, which means not easy to give up. My parents think that I’m dutiful, and I also think that too, the reason is I always according to obey my parents, follow their rules, or do what they say. The oldest child is also a perfectionist, same as me, I usually do something until I get a perfect result, if there is not then I will try again and again. Because I’m the oldest child so my younger brother or sister may see me as bossy and I should agree with that because when I ask them for help, it is just like I ordered them to do what I’m saying. How about my personality in my point of view? I reflect that I’m a kind of energetic person but just when I am excited about something. I’m helpful because I like to help others and rarely refuse someone when they need me to help. Easy to get to know new friends so I’m open-minded, I think that because I am friendly, I know how to use words to make other people feel comfortable (make an impression). And those are also 3 things my friends thinking of me. Generous, you can say that I’m so easy to forgive someone even they’re making a big mistake or a big problem to me, another way you can say that I’m easy to sympathetic when hear someone say sorry and their face looks like "I won't do it again" so after that I will forgive all their mistakes, and I think this personality I affected by my mom cause my mom is generous too. When I make any problems, I’m mostly responsible because I was wrong, and I need to admit my fault. I and my friends both think I’m an introverted person because I prefer to spend time alone or just with 2-3 people and they must be my best friends. For instance, if there’s any party, I just want to sit alone in a corner with 2-3 friends, I am not good at talking too much to someone I don’t even know so I just talk to someone I know. I will be fine if I do some things alone, it means I can work without other people’s help. I'm introverted so I know how to restrain or control my emotions, meaning I don't show it much so the others cannot know and understand me easily. The last one could be self-conscious, for this one, I’m pretty sure about the meaning of this sentence “Personality can be influenced by our environment. ”, because when I started to study at EMASI school, my teacher told us that we’re also grown up so we need to self-conscious, then I started to practice, for examples: I tried to remember my homework after school and don’t need many reminders about it, and yes you know, now I’m changed and be more self-conscious than before. Each of us not has the same personalities and of course, we also have strengths or weaknesses different too, so it may be hard to understand each other. And you know what? When I write this essay, I can know more about myself and clear about what my personality was, maybe you find it funny because I don't even know myself well right? But I feel the same way as you, sounds funny!
What’s my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personality
? I always wondered that what my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personality
is and the ways how
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other
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
me.
However
, a few days ago, I have learned about
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personality
in EAL
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
, and they say that our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personality
can
be influenced
by our family, our
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friends
, our environment, or our birth order. Then I asked my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
to
Did you mean "tell"?
told
me
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something
about the
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personality
I was. After I asked my
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friend
, I
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just
was
really
surprised
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because
their point of view is the same 90% as what I
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think
about myself.

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Let
’s talk about the birth order
first
.
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So
, in my family, I am the oldest
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child
,
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some
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people
said the oldest
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child
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
described
as confident or organized.
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But
I’m kind of shy when standing in front of everyone; I’m not organized at all
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because
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
do
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something
when I’m motivated, and I rarely follow the plan I have made
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before
. I
am determined
to
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get
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something
I want, which means not
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easy
to give up. My parents
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think
that I’m dutiful, and I
also
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think
that too, the reason is I always according to obey my parents, follow their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
, or do what they say. The oldest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
is
also
a perfectionist, same as me, I
usually
do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
something
until I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a perfect result, if there is not then I will try again and again.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
I’m the oldest
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child
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
my younger brother or sister may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
me as bossy and I should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
when I ask them for
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help
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
like I ordered them to do what I’m saying.

How about my
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personality
in my point of view? I reflect that I’m a kind of energetic person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
when I
am excited
about
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something
. I’m helpful
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I like to
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help
others and rarely refuse
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someone
when they
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need
me to
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help
.
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Easy
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to
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know
new
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friends
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I’m open-minded, I
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think
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I am friendly, I
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know
how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
words to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
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other
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people
feel comfortable (
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an impression). And those are
also
3 things my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
thinking of me. Generous, you can say that I’m
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
easy
to forgive
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someone
even they’re making a
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big
mistake or a
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big
problem to me, another way you can say that I’m
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
easy
to sympathetic when hear
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someone
say sorry and their face looks like
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
I won't do it again
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
after that I will forgive all their mistakes, and I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
this
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personality
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by my mom cause my mom is generous too. When I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
any problems, I’m
mostly
responsible
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because
I was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
, and I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to admit my fault. I and my
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friends
both
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think
I’m an introverted person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I prefer to spend time alone or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
with 2-3
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
people and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be my best
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friends
.
For instance
, if there’s any party, I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
want to sit alone in a corner with 2-3
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
, I am not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at talking too much to
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someone
I don’t even
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know
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
talk to
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someone
I
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know
. I will be fine if I do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
things alone, it means I can work without
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other
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people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
. I'm introverted
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
how to restrain or control my emotions, meaning I don't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
it much
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the others cannot
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know
and understand me
easily
. The last one could be self-conscious, for this one, I’m pretty sure about the meaning of this sentence
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“Personality
can
be influenced
by our environment. ”,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
when I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to study at
Possible spelling mistake found.
EMASI
school, my teacher
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
us that we’re
also
grown up
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to self-conscious, then I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to practice, for examples: I tried to remember my homework after school and don’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reminders about it, and yes you
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know
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
I’m
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
and be more self-conscious than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.

Each of us not has the same personalities and
of course
, we
also
have strengths or weaknesses
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
too,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it may be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to understand each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
. And you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
what? When I write this essay, I can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
more about myself and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
about what my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personality
was, maybe you find it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
funny
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I don't even
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
myself well right?
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I feel the same way as you, sounds
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
funny
!
What do you think?
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  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
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IELTS essay Compare and contrast our personality

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
721 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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