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Compare and contrast how young people in your country spend their free time nowadays to how their parents used to when they were young. You should write at least 250 words.

Compare and contrast how young people in your country spend their free time nowadays to how their parents used to when they were young. PVE2p
The definition of "free time" has been transformed as time passes. The behaviour of our young generations in free time is quite different from the adult generation because of the available services and stuffs. The purpose of this essay compares the differences between young and adult. First of all, one of the most common activities for parent generations is that doing sports or something like that exercise. According to the general survey, old children had superior physical abilities than recent children because they were doing sports a lot. What is more, as far as I know, almost all of them were likely to participate in at least one sport even though modern children have not a tendency. The other popular activity associated with child in the older generation is that reading books more than recent people. It is obvious that the publish industry is a downward trend, and the sales figure for books has been decreasing at an alarming rate. According to this, it can be guessed that modern children prefer electric books to paper books. On the other hand, virtually modern young people are keen on the video games. As technological advances, the many sorts of game machines were released, and the qualities of them have been increased more and more. Therefore, the growing number of people addicted to the variety of games. Another popular one is that sightseeing. As development of transport and tourism, people are easy to access to tourist destinations even foreign countries. The road infrastructure is developing and the trains connect to national scales. The fees are much cheaper than the old ones. In conclusion, what to do in free time has been replaced due to the development of countries. There is no easy answer to which is better. I think modern children are easy to fulfil their appetites because they can gain almost everything, and they can do whatever they would like to. However, relying on technology probably exerts a harmful effect on their health. Therefore, it is clear that older children were healthier than recent children.
The definition of
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
free time
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
has
been transformed
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
passes. The
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
of our young generations in free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from the adult generation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the available services and stuffs.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
purpose of this essay compares the differences between young and adult.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, one of the most common activities for parent generations is that doing sports or something like that exercise. According to the general survey,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
had superior physical abilities than recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they were doing sports a lot.
What is more
, as far as I know, almost all of them were likely to participate in at least one sport
even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have not a tendency. The other popular activity associated with child in the older generation is that reading books more than recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. It is obvious that the
Did you mean the noun "publishing"?
publish
industry is a downward trend, and the sales figure for books has been decreasing at an alarming rate. According to this, it can
be guessed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
prefer electric books to paper books.

On the other hand
,
virtually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are keen on the video games. As technological advances, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
sorts of game machines
were released
, and the qualities of them have
been increased
more and more.
Therefore
, the growing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
addicted to the variety of games. Another popular one is that sightseeing. As development of transport and tourism,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are easy to access to tourist destinations even foreign countries. The road infrastructure is developing and the trains connect to national scales. The fees are much cheaper than the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
ones.

In conclusion
, what to do in free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
has
been replaced
due to the development of countries. There is no easy answer to which is better. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are easy to fulfil their appetites
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can gain almost everything, and they can do whatever they would like to.
However
, relying on technology
probably
exerts a harmful effect on their health.
Therefore
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
were healthier than recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
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IELTS essay Compare and contrast how young people in your country spend their free time nowadays to how their parents used to when they were young.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
343 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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