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compare and contrast between methods of communication used today and those which were used in the past

compare and contrast between methods of communication used today and those which were used in the past DaQR7
This paragraph aims to examine the differences between methods of communication used today and those which were used in the past. To commence with, nowadays people can communicate with one another without having to travel anywhere and waste time or money. For example, a girl with a phone and internet can message her boyfriend who lives in a different country anytime and receive the other reply instantly. In addition, people can take online meetings or students can attend online classes by some applications such as MS Teams, Google Meet and Zoom. On the other hand, the old ways of communication are least be used today in terms of the inconvenience yet, it could be useful in the old days. For instance, when the telegraph was invented, people could send messages to others that they could not before the invention of the telegraph. However, the main disadvantage of traditional communication methods is time-consuming, which means that we cannot quickly send messages to other people. In conclusion, the advance of technology has changed the ways people communicate and have saved a lot of time for humans.
This paragraph aims to examine the differences between methods of communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
and those which were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in the past. To commence with, nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can communicate with one another without having to travel anywhere and waste time or money.
For example
, a girl with a phone and internet can message her boyfriend who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
country anytime and receive the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
reply
instantly
.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can take online meetings or students can attend online classes by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
applications such as MS Teams, Google
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Meet
and Zoom. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
ways of communication are least be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
in terms of the inconvenience
yet
, it could be useful in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
days.
For instance
, when the telegraph
was invented
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
messages to others that they could not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the invention of the telegraph.
However
, the main disadvantage of traditional communication methods is time-consuming, which means that we cannot
quickly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
messages to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
In conclusion
, the advance of technology has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the ways
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
communicate and have saved
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time for humans.
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IELTS essay compare and contrast between methods of communication used today and those which were used in the past

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
184 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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